Not all obituaries have to be depressing. Yes, it's a time of grief et all, but here are a few obits that gave into a lighter thought, and turned out oddly funny and weird.
By Curated by Kymberlee Fernandes/ Web Journalist
Published: Sun 17 Jan 2016, 11:56 AM
Last updated: Sun 17 Jan 2016, 5:22 PM
The recent deaths of David Bowie and Alan Rickman have seen a lot of obituaries pour in for the legendary artists.
Here are excerpts from some of the funniest obituaries that will bring you to tears
"She believed in overcooking everything until it chewed like rubber so you would never get sick because all germs would be nuked."
Image via insidetoronto.com
Mary "Pat" Stocks, 94, passed away peacefully at her home in bed July 1, 2015. It is believed it was caused from carrying her oxygen tank up the long flight of stairs to her bedroom that made her heart give out. She left behind a lot of stuff to her daughter and sons who have no idea what to do with it. So if you're looking for 2 extremely large TV's from the 90s, a large ceramic stork (we think) umbrella/cane stand, a toaster oven (slightly used) or even a 2001 Oldsmobile with a spoiler (she loved putting the pedal to the metal), with only 71,000 kilometres and 1,000 tools that we aren't sure what they're used for.
She leaves behind a very dysfunctional family that she was very proud of. Pat was world-renowned for her lack of patience, not holding back her opinion and telling it like it is.
Her extensive vocabulary was more than highly proficient at knowing more curse words than most people learned in a lifetime.
She was a master cook in the kitchen. She believed in overcooking everything until it chewed like rubber so you would never get sick because all germs would be nuked. Freezing germs also worked, so by Friday our school sandwiches were hard and chewy, but totally germ free.
A private family 'Celebration of Life' will be held, in lieu of a service, due to her friends not being able to attend, because they decided to beat her to the Pearly Gates.
Read complete obituary here
"One man's junk is another man's treasure"
Christian Louis Hacker, 67, better known as Lou Hacker, of Valatie, died on April 9, 2015, at the Samuel Stratton VA Medical Centre in Albany, leaving behind a hell of a lot of stuff his wife and daughter have no idea what to do with. So, if you're looking for car parts for a Toyota, BMW, Triumph, Dodge or Ford between the years of about 1953-2013.
But this is not an ad for a used parts store; this is an obituary for a great man, generous landlord, committed husband and adoring father.
Famous for saying, "One man's junk is another man's treasure," as well as his habitual presence at local garage sales and flea markets, there wasn't a part, tool, piece of furniture or sports equipment he wouldn't dig up for a neighbour, family member or tenant in need. So though Lou's family is a little angry about the heaps of "junk" he's left behind for them to deal with, the stacks of lawnmowers, the wrench sets in Christmas wrapping, the carcass of a 1972 BMW rotting in the backyard, it helps to remember the place of generosity for which these piles of stuff have accumulated.
Those needs filled his heart, mind and an entire basement.
Read complete obituary here
"He despised reality TV shows, and anything to do with the Kardashians"
Raymond Alan Brownley of Pittsburgh (Ingram Boro), Pennsylvania, died on September 21, 2014, at the age of 82.
Affectionately known as Big Al by his family and many friends, he was a plumber by trade, a tremendous gardener and avid hunter. He also enjoyed fishing and proudly displayed the stuffed barracuda he caught back in 1965, much to the dismay of his wife, Agnes Bargo Brownley, to whom he was married to for 24 years.
He despised canned cranberry sauce, wearing shorts, cigarette butts in his driveway, oatmeal, loud-mouth know-it-alls, Tabasco sauce, reality TV shows, and anything to do with the Kardashians.
Big Al was world-renowned for his lack of patience, not holding back his opinion, and a knack for telling it like it is. He liked four-letter words just about as much as four-wheel drive pick-up trucks.
He was generous to a fault, a pussy cat at heart, and yet he sugar-coated absolutely nothing. To quote Winston Churchill: "He was a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma."
Read complete obituary here
"Ding dong the witch is dead"
Johanna Scarpitti (centre) with her husband and two daughters. Image via delawareonline.com
Ding dong the witch is dead, but the memory of our mother lives on. Johanna Scarpitti, age 70, passed away unexpectedly August 1, 2014 at her summer home.
Johanna was a kind-hearted woman; a loving mother and wife who spoiled her grandchildren without complaint. She was sweet with a side of zest. Johanna loved the beach, boating, and kayaking. She will be incredibly missed by all who knew her...whole bunch.
Read complete obituary here
"Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man"
Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a year's long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long.
Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city.
Read complete obituary here
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