Are your kids safe online?

From cyberbullying to age-inappropriate content to grooming, the Internet is filled with landmines that can easily entrap unsuspecting youngsters

Dubai-based Mary (name changed) was a sociable girl with lots of friends. But after entering high school, in trying a little too hard to fit into the groups she was hanging out with, she started becoming overbearing and rude. Some boys, annoyed with her, began to make videos, imitating her, to circulate among themselves. However, as with most things online, the video eventually reached its subject.

A shocked and embarrassed Mary went into a state of depression, not wanting to meet or speak to any of her friends. She had trouble eating and sleeping properly and couldn't focus in school any more, causing her grades to dip.

Fortunately, the school counsellor came to know about the incident and called her in for counselling sessions. Punishments were meted out to the boys and Mary was able to reconcile with her friends. It was a story with a happy ending - unfortunately, such has not been the case in several similar instances around the world.

With smartphones and gadgets invading every facet of our lives, parenting has become a whole different ball game. In addition to all the challenges that raising a child brings, parents now have to protect their children from being preyed on by strangers who can get information about them in a click. From cyberbullying to age-inappropriate content to grooming, the Internet is filled with landmines that can easily entrap unsuspecting youngsters.

The UAE has one of the highest Internet penetration rates globally, with 98.4 per cent of the population having online access, according to Internet World Stats 2019. This puts youngsters in the country at a higher risk of facing online dangers. It's one of the reasons why Sharjah's Child Safety Department launched the Child Safety in Cyberspace campaign two years ago.

"The Internet has become the new playground for children around the world. Hours are spent playing online games, using social networking sites, streaming music, and researching for homework," says Hanadi Saleh Al Yafei, director of Child Safety Department. "However, without proper guidance, children may become exposed to inappropriate sites and encounter the wrong kind of people, without having any of the tools or skill sets they need to avoid risks."

Over the course of two years, the department has reached over 25,000 children, parents, teachers and professionals by hosting workshops and interactive sessions. Among some of the research they are spearheading, the department found peer-to-peer communication the most effective in spreading awareness about being safe online. That is why, earlier this year, the department launched its Cyber Safety Ambassadors Programme, a first-of-its-kind initiative in the country, where young children are trained to talk about Internet safety to their friends.

Eleven-year-old Salamah Saif Al Teneiji is one such ambassador who's been trained to inculcate safe browsing habits in her peers. "A lot of my friends don't realise that posting pictures in their school uniform and checking into places on Facebook is giving out personal information," she says. "It is also very important to set your social media profiles to private." Fourteen-year-old ambassador Batool Kifah Al Tameemi adds that many of her friends have been subjected to cyberbullying in its different forms.

While cyberbullying has become a common phenomenon, what is more worrying is that it is much closer to home than one imagines. "There are a lot of ways children get bullied online," explains Suzie Hachez, school counsellor at the Cambridge International School and a leader at the GEMS Counselling Network. "Peer criticism, body shaming, mocking students using unflattering emojis on Snapchat and Instagram, and spreading false rumours are some. With most children having unlimited access to social media, it has become easier for them to engage in this behaviour."

Out to help the many cyberbullying victims is the app Tootoot. It was established in 2014 as a platform where children could openly chat about anything that was upsetting them. Today, it has become a trusted app used by more than 15,000 teachers around the world and giving over half a million pupils a way to speak up. The app allows schools to sign up and gives all students their own personal login addresses, which they can use to communicate issues they face. When the school team feels there is a serious problem, they intervene.

"As it is anonymous, they feel more at ease to express their feelings," said Pete Hayes, Middle East spokesperson of Tootoot. "The app has helped save many lives. We once had a case which started as just a hello at 4am in the morning. Trust was built over time and it finally brought forth shocking details of a child who had been sexually abused at home for many years."

Keeping in view the goal of safeguarding the Internet, the Ministry of Interior, along with the National Programme for Happiness and Wellbeing, launched a child digital safety initiative targeting five to 18-year-olds earlier this year. At the time, Lt General Sheikh Saif bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Interior, had noted that it was important for the UAE to develop a sophisticated digital safety net for children in the country.

Apart from government entities, several corporates are also doing their bit to make the world wide web a safer place. Last year, du launched its #PostWisely campaign to inspire ethical online behaviour. After commissioning an Ipsos study in the country, the telecommunication giant found that social media users in the UAE were becoming less prudent about what they share online, prioritising social validation over digital discretion. "Human interaction and empathy towards one another are at the core of our social fabric," said Abdulwahed Juma, Executive Vice President Brand and Communications, EITC. "As a company, we are taking a hands-on approach to driving social change in our communities." In addition to designing some hard-hitting short films to illustrate the harmful nature of posting negative content online, du has also visited schools to take its message to youngsters around the country.
Despite these awareness programmes, studies suggest that parents are not doing enough to make sure their children are safe online. Several parents worry about their children's online presence, but there is very little they do about it. A survey last year by global cyber security company Kaspersky Lab found that 51 per cent of parents surveyed in the UAE feel that the online threats to their kids are increasing. In order to keep their children safe, 38 per cent of them limit the time children spend online. However, they don't realise that limiting the time spent online doesn't keep them safe in any way. "Parents often make the mistake of thinking that their child's device's operating system will provide them with enough protection. But these systems only provide basic protection tools," says Maher Yamout, Senior Security Researcher at Kaspersky Lab. "It is imperative that parents bolster protection to safeguard their children."

"Even in this age, when parents are so overprotective about their children, they don't do due diligence when handing them gadgets," adds Suzie Hachez. "You can see gadgets not needed at their age - and games for which they are not old enough - being handed out to children without a second thought. That is one of the biggest problems."

When IT professional Shainy Nainan felt that her only son was at risk online, she was not one to sit back and watch. "He would come back to an empty house, as both his father and I are working. He could play on the PS3 for a while and then he had to do his homework."

But when she started noticing more and more of his homework going unfinished and his mood suddenly becoming more aggressive, the Indian expat knew something was amiss. It wasn't until her son confessed to her that she realised how much he'd been playing online on his PS3. "It was like a bombshell. I knew the dangers of playing online unsupervised. I had read about paedophiles lurking on online game sites and chat rooms. I knew that I had to keep him safe."

After extensive research, Shainy found an app called Net Nanny that would give her extensive control over her son's online behaviour. "Schools require children to take in their own device," she said. "They say it is a controlled environment but I felt like something was lacking. For example, the children can always browse or watch YouTube while the teacher is teaching. So, I put in place controls to shut off all social media during school hours, among other things."

She admits it was one of the hardest things she has ever done. "Suddenly, I became the bad parent in the house," she said. "He was very angry with me for taking away his freedom. And this is one of the reasons why many parents don't take such steps." After using the controls for almost two years, Shainy felt like her son had understood the point. "I asked him whether I should renew the subscription of the app and he gave me an emphatic 'No!'," she chuckles.
"Being strict with your child works only when they are at an age for that kind of correction. As they grow up, you have to change tactics. So, I loosened up a bit," she explains. "Even so, I used to switch off the modem while I was at work. He got his Internet time only when I was at home. And I made sure that I knew the passwords to all his gadgets. He was only allowed to browse in the living room. It's important that, as parents, we do everything in our power to keep them safe - even if it means your kids think you are uncool." Shainy's son is now a university student in Iowa. "Although it caused several fights at home, putting in place such strict controls is not something I regret," she concludes. "If I had to do it all over again, I would."

Hachez has a similar word of caution for all parents. "It is important not to give in to peer pressure. Parents have to explain to children why they have specific gadget rules in their family and why it's important to follow them. Specify at what age what gadget will be given to the children and why. Maintain a strict screen time schedule in order to avoid anger issues and loss of concentration affecting learning. Parents should often check the browsing history to make sure the child is within the boundaries set and not giving in to peer pressure by watching age-inappropriate content or playing dangerous online games. Always make sure you know who they are talking to online and watch out for warning signs in their behaviour."
The Internet is surely one of the most groundbreaking discoveries of our times. However, the challenge it brings with it is enough to stump most parents. It is up to parents to be vigilant about the different pitfalls it poses and the methods available to safeguard children.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com