Can't stand your colleagues?

From continuously clicking a pen to taking credit for your work, annoying co-workers can negatively affect your workplace attitude - and even take a toll on your mental health. Here's how you deal with them

Stealing the limelight, having a messy desk, clicking 'reply all' to every email to appear ultra-busy or even persistently clicking a pen top or sniffing - these are just some of the annoying habits we encounter on a daily basis at the workplace.
Most of us will spend a third of our lives at work - and that's a lot of hours to bite our tongue and deal with irritating colleagues. But while these less-than-constructive characteristics might bug us, set our teeth on edge or have us banging the table in despair, they can actually lead to serious health and well-being concerns for certain employees.
Some are so troubled by the daily grind that they are forced into long-term sick leave and may even quit their job - such is the stress they feel subject to. And the fact that many managers and employees don't take the effect of irritating co-workers seriously has led to some experts in the region offering tips on how to recognise, challenge and curb such behaviours to maintain a harmonious working environment.
As the UAE is a melting pot of cultures, staff from diverse backgrounds will inevitably find themselves sharing working time and space with people from the opposite side of the world, where business etiquette might differ widely from their own experiences. While managers strive to nurture such diversity to enhance their organisation's effectiveness and reputation, the daily reality can be hard to take for some people.  
Dr Roberta Fedele, a clinical psychologist at the LightHouse Arabia, a community mental health and wellness clinic in Dubai, said: "People often don't take the effects of irritating co-workers seriously. However, when you add daily annoyances and irritation to workload and work stress, it can lead to negative effects on personal, mental, emotional and physical well-being.
"We have to know that the effects of stress are additive - so, small daily stressors add up to big negative effects on well-being," she continued. "When someone is struggling with a difficult co-worker, they can present general signs of distress, disturbances in sleeping patterns, weight gain, weight loss, loss of energy and motivation, and disengagement from work - as well as low productivity and absenteeism. When the problem has gone on for a long time, the emotional, mental, and psychological difficulties can escalate into serious clinical problems. We often see them presenting as clinical disorders as well, such as in the form of anxiety disorders and major depression."
Dr Fedele recommended some strategies for dealing with annoying people or habits on a daily basis:
. Develop your skills: There are skills to draw boundaries, speak without provoking, asserting yourself and asking for your needs. There are ways to deal with co-workers that are complainers, passive aggressive, overly agreeable, know-it-alls, or indecisive. If it is a skill, that means it can be learned. Enrol yourself in classes and coaching sessions, and practise with people you feel safe with. 
. Avoid the 'difficult' person: As much as possible, keep your distance. Your energy will be better spent elsewhere. If there is interdependence in your work, get another person who is not affected by the colleague to do that part of the project. 
. Understand: Sometimes, understanding what is motivating and resulting in the person's behaviour can diffuse the negative feelings inside you. Is the person negative because they are in a bad relationship? Because they are in a job they feel overqualified for? Maybe their personality type has resulted in them having blind spots and they do not actually know the negative effects they have on people around them.

But Dr Fedele warned people not to confront annoying colleagues if they believe doing so could inflame the situation and make a working environment even worse.
"Do not try to confront the person if you do not feel you have the skills to assert yourself and draw healthy boundaries," she said. "Sometimes, responding to irritating people can result in people losing their cool and using offensive language, resulting in an unnecessary escalation of the situation."  
Gareth El Mettouri, associate director of leading staffing agency Robert Half UAE, said that people skills are key to success in today's workplace. "Soft skills, such as effective communication, leadership and influencing, are all necessary for roles in professional occupations in the UAE.  
"As the UAE is quickly becoming one of the world's cultural melting pots, it is more important than ever to know how to get along with a diverse mix of colleagues. Unfortunately, not in every instance will employees understand that certain habits can be annoying to others."
He identified five character traits that bug colleagues the most in a modern office environment and how best to deal with them:
. The Naysayer. This negative and dismissive worker delights in shooting down good ideas. Even during brainstorming sessions where all suggestions are to be contemplated with an open mind, the Naysayer will immediately find a way to challenge the idea and view it through a negative lens.  
 
. The Spotlight Stealer. With this annoying colleague, there is sometimes the impression that there is an 'I' in team. Shameless in his/her attempts to impress higher-ups, this overly ambitious corporate climber never heard a good idea he/she wouldn't pass off as his/her own.
 
. The Buzzwordsmith. This ineffective communicator loves to utilise - never just use - industry-specific jargon and obscure acronyms that confuse, more often than they clarify. Favourite buzzwords include synergistic, actionable, monetise and paradigm shift.
 
. The Inconsiderate E-mailer. Addicted to using the 'reply all' function, this chronic 'Cc' abuser clogs colleagues' already-overflowing inboxes with unnecessary messages. This person also marks less-than-critical e-mails as 'high priority' and sends enormous attachments that crash your computer.
 
. The Interrupter. The Interrupter has little regard for others' peace, quiet or concentration. When he's not barging into your work area to demand your help, he's in meetings, loudly tapping on his laptop, fielding calls on his
iPhone or initiating off-topic side conversations that you're not interested in.
 "While these professionals can often be part of many organisations, these characters should not stand in the way of your professional ambitions and success. There are many options available to you, including having a polite word in their ear, or perhaps mentioning a quick word to your boss," he noted.
 Dr Fedele also issued some tips to maintain good working relationships. "Sometimes, people dismiss the effects of difficult co-
workers, but it can actually be very damaging to people's well-being and even their careers. One should not expect to know how to deal with difficult people just because they know how to do their job or because they themselves are not difficult.
"There are skills to deal with difficult people and difficult situations - and learning those skills will go a long way towards creating a healthy work environment."
HOW TO MAINTAIN HARMONIOUS WORKING RELATIONSHIPS
1      Diversity mindset: Take into consideration the differences of the people. Dubai is a very diverse place, with people from all over the world working side by side. Many times, the differences in culture, language, religion etc can result in misunderstandings and conflict in the workplace.  
2      Keep boundaries: You aren't meant to be best friends with people you work with. Maintain healthy boundaries in order to bring your best self to work.  
3      Work with a coach: The best players in the world have a coach. If you want to bring your A-game to work, get a coach, and see where your blind spots are and where you can better yourself.  
4       Come with a collaborative mindset: Ask yourself what outcome you want from your work relationships. This keeps things in perspective and allows you to work effectively with colleagues.
- Dr Roberta Fedele

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