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A mother gives adoption a new meaning

Dubai - Emirati mother Aysha Albusmait recounts how her adopted daughter Reem's sweet voice made her fall in love with her even before she saw the little child.

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People don't call me Dr Aysha anymore, they call me Reem's mother. To me, that is the best title I could ever have wished for."
Speaking candidly to Khaleej Times, Dr Aysha Albusmait shares her story of hope, a story which saw her go from single, working woman, to proud mother of one.
"Reem changed my life, I heard her voice before I saw her face, but that voice ... it just melted me. I fell in love with her at that moment."
Dr Albusumait is the UAE's first Emirati woman to adopt a child from the Community Development Authority's (CDA) Embrace programme.

'Embrace' a childWhile conventional adoption is officially prohibited under Sharia Law, couples are now being encouraged to adopt through the Community Development Authority's Embrace programme founded in 2013. Embrace was the result of the murder of eight-year-old Emirati girl Wadeema, who was killed by her abusive parents in May 2012. Prior to Embrace, there was no clarity around the legality of taking in abandoned children, and no formal channel through which to do so. Through Embrace, children that have been found abandoned are taken into safe houses called "Alternative Family Villas" run by foster parents. Once there, they are given an identity and citizenship, and then placed with a family. Dr Huda Al Suwaidi, CDA Family Development Department director, spoke of the authority's efforts in easing the plight of abandoned children in Dubai. "Previously this issue had been stigma because people didn't want to say that we have abandoned children, but now we are saying it clearly, without fear ... previously there was some abuse - minimal abuse - especially of the ones that are abandoned, but nowadays they are there in the public; people know about them." reporters@khaleejtimes.com

First introduced in 2013 to tackle the number of abandoned and orphaned children in the country, the programme has been described as a "brave concept" by some, given the fact that conventional adoption is prohibited under Sharia Law.
But Dr Albusmait says 'Embrace' encourages prospective mothers and fathers to foster abandoned children as their guardians - a concept deemed more acceptable in this region.
"Adoption isn't new in the UAE, but talking about it is. When I first told my family I was going to adopt, the reaction was mixed."
Sister to eight siblings, Dr Albusmait says she had the full support of her mother when she broached the idea of adoption, but some of her brothers and sisters weren't so open to the idea.
"They were skeptical. I was in my mid 40s and I was unmarried. To be frank with you, some of them were completely against it."
But three years on, the story is very different.
Five-year-old Reem is now one of the leading ladies in the Albusmait family. She is adored by her aunts, uncles, grandmother, cousins and even by those who were not supportive at first.
"They just love Reem. Some of my nieces and nephews even tell me they want to adopt when they are older. To me, that is warming to hear."
The journey
In early 2013, Dr Albusmait applied to the 'Embrace' adoption programme after feeling a void in her life.
"I felt I had so much love to give and I knew I could embrace one of these children as my own."

We are familyWhen an abandoned or orphaned child is found, they are sent to the Family Village in Dubai, an Awqaf and Minors Foundation Project, which offers a healthy, safe, and secure home for them. The Family Village is a Dh156 million unique charity project that ensures social, psychological and economic stability for orphans in Dubai. The centre was inaugurated by Shaikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, earlier this year. With 20 orphans now calling the village home, the 'mothers, fathers and aunts' are tasked with the job of raising the children as their own. Each compound at the 16-village facility can host up to nine children, who are overseen by caregivers who work shifts of 3.5 days on and 3.5 days off over a seven-day week. The village has five mothers, five aunts and two fathers currently on site. As well as social areas for the children, the Village also includes a small medical clinic for emergencies and a nursery for pre-school orphans. "These children aren't orphans, they're our family. We both have one biological child each outside of the village, but biology doesn't make them any less our children," said caregiver Lama Salem Kabooti.

After the CDA proposed meetings with two other children - a five-year-old and a four-month-old, the applications fell through.
"With the first child, we just didn't feel comfortable with each other and I was later told by the CDA that the baby was adopted out to another family."
Unscathed by the earlier disappointment, came Reem. At that time, she was only 3-years-old.
A UAE national orphaned at the age of two, Dr Albusmait is "unsure" as to what happened to Reem's parents. But she said the incident left her under the supervision of the CDA as other family members were unable to take care of her.
She vividly remembers her first interaction with Reem. It was the sound of her "sweet voice".
"I was sitting in the room and I could hear her saying: 'Will she buy me a school bag?' Her voice touched me in a way I cannot explain."
And when she finally saw her face, she didn't want to leave the room.
"I loved her then and there. I knew I wanted her but I knew it was up to Reem to make the decision. I wanted her to be comfortable with me," she said.
After about six weeks of supervised visits with Reem, Dr Albusmait heard the words she was waiting to hear.
"She told me she didn't want to go back to her foster parents, and frankly I didn't want to take her back."
After several discussions with the team at Embrace, another two weeks passed until Reem was officially under Dr Albusmait's guardianship.
"They kept telling me I had to wait longer to take her but I insisted and insisted and they finally agreed. This was Reem's decision after all. She decided her reality, so who were we to take that away from her."
Reem will turn six in February, and for Dr Albusmait, she really is the gift that keeps on giving.
"I feel like god loves me so much because he gave me Reem. She is the most happy child in the world and her happiness makes me happy."
Describing her as a "bright, socialised and lovable little girl", Dr Albusmait wants to make it her mission to ensure that she knows where she came from.
And she hopes her story will encourage others to open up about adoption, too.
"I give Reem all the answers she needs. She knows she is adopted and when she asks where her parents are, I tell her they are with God. I think it is so important to be open with your child."
And after months of calling her 'aunt', Reem now refers to Dr Albusmait as 'mommy', the "best title any woman can hold," she said.
To men and women wanting to adopt, her message is simple: don't wait. If you have the love in your heart, then give that love to a child who needs it.
"Adopting Reem changed my life and changed her life. She has given me inner peace. People should be proud to adopt children and proud to talk about it because you are making a difference to an innocent child's life."
kelly@khaleejtimes.com
How to adopt
To be eligible, a family should be Emirati, Muslim, and living in the UAE.
Married couples must be at least 25 years old.
Single mothers must be at least 30.
Hosting mother or family must be free from infectious diseases or psychological disorders that can affect the wellbeing of the child.
Hosting family should lead respectable" lifestyle, and be financially capable of supporting the child as he or she grows up.
Parents must apply with passport and ID copies, medical clearances, and marriage and salary certificates - to CDA.
The family is assessed through interviews, field visits and social study.
Once accepted, a first meeting is held between the family and the child.
Trial period of six month begins. If the trial period goes well, the department concerned issues required documentation.
The children are monitored through periodic field visits and phone calls.