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Dowry driving UAE’s youth to stay single

ABU DHABI — UAE youth face a number of problems, the most serious of which is the excessive marriage expenses. The exorbitant cost of getting married is driving these young nationals to tie the knot with non-national women, and should they not find a foreign partner, they stay a bachelor.

Khaleej Times caught up with some parents and young nationals to find out what they think about the prohibitive cost of getting married.

Salama Al Katheery, a recently engaged national, believes that the most important obstacle is the excessive wedding cost that is incurred. She proposes monthly mass weddings as a solution to overcome this serious problem.

These weddings, however, should be properly advertised and be held under the patronage of the media and commercial organisations, she says.

According to her, social associations should also step forward and extend the necessary relevant marriage information and awareness by giving lectures and holding seminars and/or workshops to inform the future wedded couples of their matrimonial rights and obligations towards each other and towards their expected children i.e. to guide them to the apt way of becoming responsible and worthy parents.

Khaled Al Mazroo'y sees the dowry issue as the main hindrance, as some parents impose high dowry and extravagant marriage expenses on the suitors, who are unable to meet their demands. Eventually, the number of spinsters is rising to a critical and fearful extent, he says.

Aisha Al Mazroo'y strongly asserts that dowries should be considered as a means and not a goal.

"In this regard, we should adopt Islam's doctrine, which calls for a reasonable dowry for the bride's personal use, and emphasises on the merciful and amiable relations between married couples," asserts Aisha.

"Some people regard marriage as a bargain, where ‘profit and loss’ is their main concern. Subsequently, many youth resort to marrying foreign women, thereby endangering the national ladies' plight. The other consequence being the raising of a new generation of nationals, who do not abide by UAE customs and traditions," she says. "This will ultimately lead to significant impact in the UAE society," she concludes.

Aisha calls for moderation in determining the dowry in such a way as to be impartial to both sides; the groom would be able to comply with a reasonable dowry and simultaneously the bride would not feel humiliated or underestimated.

Aly Al Mansoory, on the other hand, asserts that Islam calls for moderation in all aspects of our lives. He says that the dowry hike is a purely blind and senseless imitation of others.

He justifies this unwanted phenomenon to parents' tendency to guarantee a lavish lifestyle for their daughters in case her marriage is foiled and she becomes a divorcee. Other parents regard their daughters as merchandise, on which they have spent a lot of money and are therefore reasonable in their profligate demands.

However, this has proven to be a totally false approach or view, which was denounced on several occasions by the late Shaikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan, declares Aly.

Mohammad Al Aly, father of two daughters, recalled several incidents where the parents followed the doctrine of Islam and asked for nominal dowries like Dh2 and a copy of the Holy Quran.