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Ensure That Your Children Are Not Going Astray in Cyberland

DUBAI— Bikerboy: Hi asl?

Citygirl: how bout u?

Bikerboy: tht cool wit u?

Citygirl: Ya..but ttoul8r...POS

Ever wonder what your teenage son and daughter are doing when they spend hours surfing on the Internet? And to add to your unease, even taking a peek into their on-screen chat boxes doesn’t seem to be making a lot of sense. Isn’t it?

The rapid growth of Internet access now allows children to be just a mouse click away from a host of libraries, encyclopedias, current events coverage, and other homework material.

On the fillip side, they can also access sites filled with violence, pornography, and even instructions to make explosives. Fortunately, most of web sites with harmful content are blocked in the UAE.

Says Sudha Valsan, a student counsellor at Our Own English High School, Sharjah: “On a technical level, there are many ways parents can curb their children’s Internet usage. They can block web sites and use stronger firewalls on the Internet. Parents can also place the computer in the living room or in a place where the entire family has access to. What’s important is parents must encourage open communication with their children.”

She further says, “The youngsters should be made aware of the clear difference between freedom and licence. A lot of students 
approach me saying their parents are not available to talk to. It shouldn’t 
happen.

“Both parents and teachers must talk and educate the child about the hazards of posting personal information and pictures on any web site. A lot of students also use homework as an excuse to use the Internet.”

Ramona and Sebeena, both 10th graders, use the Internet for social networking and for gathering homework information. Susan S., the girls’ mother, says, “We are well aware of the hazards of using the Internet. I allow half-an-hour to 45 minutes to each of the girls to use the Internet. They mostly use social networking web sites like Facebook, where they interact with their friends, family members and occasionally, meet new people.”

Susan adds: “Parents must keep a track of who their children meet online. Occasionally, I check into their computer screens when they are chatting, and casually ask who is it they are chatting to. I keep a close eye on their friends list.”

But working parents like Nithin Hari and Esha find it difficult to keep a track on their son, 8th grader Naveen’s Internet usage. “He spends a lot of time on the Internet. Sometimes, to exercise control I change the Internet password. But we would have to divulge it to him, because he would urgently require it for school work. Naveen always asks for the password when we are not at home.”

However, Nithin and Esha make it a point to keep track on the web sites he visits by checking the history of web sites visited.

If parents are not careful enough children can become victims of cyber stalking, which is a lot like stalking in real life. Stalking both online and off are characterised by a relentless harassment and perusal of the victim.

Stalkers, or predators, can present an identity that may appeal to children in order to gain their trust and form a relationship. Once they form the relationship, they hope to gain personal information from the child.

Using this information, stalkers harass the victim through threatening emails, virus emails, posting personal information such as phone numbers, email address, or by posting or creating sexuality explicit images, hacking into e-mail of bank accounts, spamming, and at the extreme, death threats.

Chat room lingo and abbreviations are difficult for most parents to decipher. Parents can watch out for popular chat lingo like, POS- Parent on Shoulder; CD9- Code Nine- Parents around; LOL- Laugh Out Loud; ASLP- Age, Sex, Location and Picture; NIFOC- Nude in Front of Computer.

Besides, parents can visit web sites like www.teenchatdecoder.com and www.safekids.com, which give parents guidelines on how to make the Internet a safer place for their children.

What parents should do

u Keep the computer in a room that the whole family uses, and make the Internet a family activity. It should not be in a child’s bedroom

Use blocking software to allow you to control children’s access areas on the Internet

Parents can use child-friendly search engines such as Ah-Ha.com which have built-in filters that prevent entry to inappropriate sites

Parents can get filtering software such as ZeekSafe, GuardDog, or Net Nanny

Establish clear and concise rules for using the computer. Post them near the computer

While chatting children should use their screen name only, and never give out any personal information

Talk to children about issues that concern them, such as violence and exploitation. This way the children will know how to respond should they encounter these things

Keep tab on children’s Internet usage. If they log off when a parent enters the room, or a parent suspects a child may be doing something inappropriate, parents can find the children’s history trail. Check for Internet history on the web page

dhanusha@khaleejtimes.com