• Home

Is your perfect life as a Dubai expat just a beautiful lie?

Dubai - No, all Western expats don't have fancy brunches all the time and fritter away their UAE tenures

I had a friend from home come visit me recently and she made a couple of comments that forced me to ponder over some common misconceptions. They were comments that alluded to my life, as she thought she knew it, as an expat.
I was hit with the same phraseology that every visitor I seem to host comes out with. "God, you've got it good out here," and "You're never coming home, are you?"
So I saw it as a serendipitous prod to shed a little more light on life as a western expat. And I've chosen to focus on the 'western' part because of another conversation I had recently; a conversation with a colleague of mine.
During our random chat - one of many we have in office - she reacted with surprise when I revealed that I was sending money home to my parents. It was a passing comment so I brushed over it, but she dug for more.
"You send money home to your parents?!" - her tone was curious. When I answered yes, she gave me a reassuring nod, followed by a "Wow," and an eyebrow raise. Now that reaction made me curious. Was the unintentional revelation that I send money home to my parents really worthy of a wow? I know many expats here - workers who are earning a lot less than the average Joe - who regularly do the same. So I wanted to know what warranted such a reaction.
That's when her answer irked me. She was under the impression that "western expats just came here to earn money; money for themselves". It made me wonder what other misconceptions people have about me - or others like me.
It was her initial nod of approval that was hard to swallow. It was as though she was saying, 'good for you for breaking the mould'. But I wasn't breaking any mould. I know many people my age, from the same working class backgrounds, that are doing the exact same thing here.
That's why I think it's time for me to write a little more seriously about life as an expat. There's a lot more to it than a tax-free salary and year-round sunshine.
That friend I talked about in my intro taught me that living abroad is often depicted as a full-time holiday - but that's just a beautiful lie.
Now bear in mind, when she visited, I took on the role of gracious host/tour guide. That meant doing things. We sipped sundowners against the backdrop of some fancy skyline and spent most mornings sprawled out on the beach. The daily structure of a 10am rise, 11am beach bumming, 1pm luncheon and 6pm sundowners was fun, but it was a treat for me too ('treat' being the operative word). But in her mind, this was my norm.
To her, my life was like that perfectly curated Instagram feed. But I was not the curator (I've only ever posted three photos on Instagram). It was her misconceptions that curated this perfect life for me.
If I wasn't at the beach, I'd be at the mall. And if not the mall, some fancy restaurant somewhere. That's what she thought. She didn't see me at work. She didn't see me paying my bills or writing out my rental cheques. She just saw the fancy façade, but oh how the reality is quite the contrary.
Being an expat in Dubai has its perks. There's a reason we make up the majority of the population. But it's not all plain sailing. We're away from close family and friends, and the friends you do make tend to leave after a while. The majority of us are only here for the short-term. We're here as a means to something bigger and better.
Then it dawned on me. The internet today is full of rants and articles about how social media has bred a generation obsessed with making life look perfect. But the day I became an expat was the day my friends and family - not me -began curating this beautiful lie I call my 'perfect' life.
kelly@khaleejtimes.com
Kelly covers Education and other important stuff. She finds it endearing when people call her Kel