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No love for arranged marriages

It might not be a marriage made in heaven after all if she’s the sort who loves partying into the night while he prefers to stay at home and end his day with a book.

With rising domestic violence and divorce cases, youth today say they are sceptical about getting into an arranged marriage.

In the age-old debate of arranged marriage vs. love marriage, majority of the youth say they prefer to get to know the person before they take a decision to marry them.

They are smarter about choosing their spouses and would like to wait till they are in their mid or late 20’s before they decide to tie the knot, say relationship experts and marriage counsellors.

Cultural differences

“It is different in different cultures,” said Venezuelan national Maria Bermudez (28). “In my culture you can marry whoever you want to. Of course, parental opinion is important, but it is not a decisive factor,” she added. She stated that she is well aware of the situation being different in other cultures. Huzaifa Rampurawala (23), an analyst, said: “In most Asian cultures, it depends on the families more than the individual who plans on getting married.”

Meanwhile, Pakistani national and restaurateur in Dubai Taimoor Khan (27) said youth should be allowed to chose their life partners. At the same time, he thinks that arranged marriages are a good bet for those who lack social skills. “I think it should be free of tyranny and parents should not keep their kids under their dogmatic or cultural principles,” he said. Khan added that this is the information age and there are healthy changes in dynamics in the way people think about such matters.

Ishita Gupta (18) plans on getting married at the age of 27. “In our culture, more than the parents it’s the immediate family that places pressure on us to get married. On the other hand, people are more educated now and parents are more understanding of what kids need. They also understand that marriages that couples are pressured into can turn ugly later,” she said.

Fatema Hussain (21), a HR professional, said: “Everything depends on the individual. I plan of getting married when I turn 24. There is very little parental pressure for an arranged marriage.”

Pakistani national and resident of Dubai, Nayla Shariff’s (25) parents have been on the lookout for a suitable young man for their daughter.

“Kids today want to court for a few months or years even before they decide to marry. We don’t want to pressurise Nayla because her happiness means the most to us,” said Nayla’s mother Jehann Shariff.

Meanwhile, her father Hussain Ali blames Western influence and the generation gap for this change. “I think I met my wife for 10 minutes before we were married. Now children want to spend at least six months together before they get married,” said Ali.

dhanusha@khaleejtimes.com