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Slow Down: Too Much For the Young Ones

“It’s a competitive world,” she says. “I have to make sure that my children are not left behind.”

Mentally and physically exhausted, Nidhi is ready to drop dead far before her bedtime. She has to be ready to face a similar routine the next day and the entire week.

While Nidhi’s and several others’ parents think that pushing their children to the maximum will be to their benefit, health experts think otherwise.

They say childhood is shrinking for such children.

Today’s parents buy cell phones for their 10-year-olds and ensure they have the most fashionable low-cut jeans. Kids today are posting their profiles on social networking websites, often posing as adults. But in reality, are they ready to embrace the responsibility that comes with such adult behaviour?

In today’s ultra hi-tech world, consciously or unconsciously, children are being forced to hurry through life and grow up really fast.

And that is why an increasing number of children are suffering from the Hurried Child Syndrome, says Dr Manisha Phadke, general practitioner at Belhoul Specialty Hospital and a health advisor to schools.

“A considerable percentage of children worldwide face this problem and this is mainly because parental expectations are running higher and higher,” says Dr Manisha.

“The problem is more obvious in affluent families because they can afford to pay for their children’s extracurricular activities and demands.”

Dr Manisha, who has come across several such cases in her career, says that comparison of one child with another, even a sibling in some cases, raises expectations in parents and forces them to push a ‘weaker’ child.

“I have seen parents pushing children to do activities that their neighbours’ kids are doing. After a gruelling day at school or tuition classes, how much more can the child take?” she asks.

Withdrawal symptoms in children may start showing anytime. The stress of being pushed finally takes its toll on the body, explains Dr Linda Sakr, a Dubai-based psychologist.

”The child can start manifesting a range of symptoms such as anxiety, depression, stress, learning difficulties as well as physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches,”
she says.

But, do parents really achieve what they expect by hurrying a child through his/her childhood? “If the child is being pushed for the parents’ own competitive reasons, the child may pick up on it and perhaps feel overwhelmed and hence (may) not be able to attain what the parents desire,” explains Dr Linda.

“The child may eventually suffer from ‘burnout, which is characterised by chronic low level of energy, defensive behaviour and/or distancing oneself emotionally from people, in addition to experiencing sleep disturbances, changes in eating habits and crying easily.”

However, the blame does not entirely lie on parents, say experts. In this age, children themselves are setting higher goals for themselves. The final push may come from the academic institution. “They are hurrying to become teenagers but there is no evidence that their emotional maturity is keeping pace,” says Dr Manisha.

The experts also say that a pushed child may not necessarily become a successful adult. “This will depend on one’s personality and tolerance threshold. Some adults tend to cope better than others but overall, a pushed child may feel constantly pressured to perform and compete,” say Dr Linda.

“It’s very important to instill in our children the importance of ‘being’ as opposed to constantly ‘doing’ in order to help them overcome the hurried child syndrome and learn in their own way,” she adds.

According to Dr Manisha, some parents are not aware that their actions might have negative reactions. “Several parents (have) told me that their children, in fact, performed better in academics after they slowed down the pace of their life,” she says.

“We really need to slow down. Even nature has taken nine months to make us, so why should we hurry through life?” she questions.

asmaalizain@khaleejtimes.ae

• UAE