'Tolerance is key to a happy married life'

Tolerance is an important virtue for families as it strengthens affection among spouses and helps keep marriages happy and stable, said a family and marriage counsellor.
Dr Turki Al Qahtani, a family and marriage counsellor at the Abu Dhabi Judicial Department (ADJD), said spouses should learn how to tolerate each other and to truly understand one another to help them create a strong marriage bond.
"Tolerance is the most important factor for a happy marriage. Tolerance involves respect, acceptance and appreciation. It can help couples communicate when they have different ideas on something. Then, it would be easier for them to understand each other, not just accuse each other," Al Qahtani said during a lecture entitled 'Family Tolerance', which was part of the 'Our Councils' initiative.
"As tolerance helps people from different cultures, religions, ages and backgrounds coexist peacefully, it can as well help spouses live a happy marriage."
He said tolerance and patience are two virtues that people should be practising in a marriage.
"No matter how much you love your spouse, there will always be times when your patience may be tested and your character as well," said Al Qahtani.
"It is a good thing that spouses understand each other, so they don't get frustrated when a partner does something unusual."
The marriage expert noted that tolerance doesn't necessarily mean that a spouse constantly has to "put up" with his or her partner, but there are times one needs to be patient and choose not to argue when it is not necessary.
"A stable marriage should be based on love, companionship, patience, tolerance, spouses understanding each other, and learning how to manage and solve disputes," said Al Qahtani.
"Spouses should also fulfil their duties. Men should share home chores with their wives and must not leave everything to her."
The family guidance and marriage counsellors at the judicial department have always told new and old couples about the values of a family and the need for spouses to stay together in happy marriage so they can raise children with good morals.
Young men and women wanting to marry have also been advised to choose a spouse who best suits them, in terms of beauty, character, behaviour, religion, level of education, social status and family, so they can live a happy marriage.
The 'Our Councils' initiative was launched in 2017, with the aim of promoting a legal culture and raising the public's awareness of their positive role in maintaining the security, family stability, and development of the nation.
ismail@khaleejtimes.com

• Ramadan 2021

Ismail Sebugwaawo

ismail@khaleejtimes.com