'Mental health issues are debilitating to the soul': Singer-songwriter Gaya

Gaya’s first love is music – the kind you have a torturous relationship with.

After a long hiatus, the popular independent singer-songwriter and multidisciplinary storyteller is out with her new album Qisse. The title track, which released this month, has already garnered more than 55,000 views on YouTube. The remaining five multilingual tracks will have a staggered release throughout this year, accompanied by music videos that have been shot in Dubai and across India.

In a freewheeling interview via Zoom, Gaya talks about why the hiatus was also a mental health break and how she is ‘deliriously happy’ about her new album.

The early years

Full disclosure: Gaya and I were classmates in high school, although we resided in parallel universes. She was built for the stage – a star performer, with a voice like morning dew. I, on the other hand, tried to blend in with the school walls.

The 37-year-old was born into a South Indian family which she describes as a ‘music nerd club’. “My mom is a classical music teacher and my parents were such huge fans and appreciators of music. When we sang at home, there were always those subtle nods like, ‘Oh, that was beautiful’.”

Post college, she worked as an editor at a publishing house but realised she didn’t want to spend her life yoked to a desk. “I was writing songs, recording demos at home on my laptop - I just had the fire. I was watching Regina Spektor who is this incredible New York-based musician. She had done a lot of shows - it was just her and the piano. And I was always under this impression that you needed a band of people around you to create a sound that is very rich and lush. But when I watched her perform, I was like, ‘No, you don’t’ … I wanted to see if my music had resonance outside of my immediate circle of friends and family who are, obviously, going to be biased and are going to want to support.”

So in 2008, she reached out to live music venues in London, Berlin and Paris. “Fortunately, about six or seven of them wrote back saying, ‘We’d love to have you perform’.” Since then, Gaya has emerged as one of the architects of the independent music scene in Dubai. She has performed at Joe’s Pub in NYC, Hope & Anchor in London, The Highlander in Paris, Dubai Opera to raise funds for Beirut, and prestigious local events like F1, Dubai Music Week & the Fridge Concert Series. She has also released several EPs and albums like Disengage, Champion of Broken Hearts and her first full-length album The Unknown for which she successfully raised $23,000 in 10 days through crowdfunding. And more recently, she received a Golden visa.

Taking a break

Making it as an independent artist in Dubai, where the audience is very transient, is not easy. Critical acclaim doesn’t always translate into commercial success, for which one needs to get ‘discovered’, signed by a label, and tour. “Growing up in Dubai, where there isn’t a huge scene… you’re irrelevant in the larger world of creative commerce, because you’re not coming from a scene that is considered established in terms of music,” says Gaya, who splits her time between Dubai and Mumbai. “You may be a pioneer in your region but that means squat in the real world. And there are hundreds of artistes (from Europe & the States) who are considered deserving because they’ve put in the time.” Although she had prestigious gigs abroad, Gaya found it hard to gain momentum in places which she paid fleeting visits to while performing, and didn’t belong. “You’re not really from Dubai either, so you can’t be supremely celebrated there. So it’s this in-between place...”

Although her music had devoted fans, the fact that she wasn’t able to hit a ‘critical mass’ hurt her spirit. “I was doing everything I could, but things were moving in a certain direction. I also think it stirred up a lot of discontentment within me and I’d rather die than be a resentful, bitter person. But I couldn’t do it anymore and was really running out of self-belief.”

In 2018, Gaya decided to take a break from music and started working as a brand strategist and consultant, digital creator, and also designing spaces and making films.