Bullying: How to find out if your child is victim or perpetrator

As schooling and education becomes more competitive as a general rule, stress at school is not always caused by children having to adapt to new environments, subjects and teachers. It also arises from social insecurity, bullying, and sometimes just peer pressure - the need to 'fit in' with the crowd.
Naser Al Riyami, a clinical psychologist and hypnotherapist at Sheikh Khalifa Medical City (SKMC), told Khaleej Times that parents must teach their children how to be assertive, in order to prevent them from becoming victim to bullying.
When it comes to bullying behaviour, there are two critical factors to look out for, he points out.
"Parents need to tell their children where and how to get help if they are victims of bullying, and also teach the child assertiveness. Good communication is the key to sidetracking a bully and putting him off," Al Riyami notes.
There are programmes available in the UAE to teach parents methods to boost their children's confidence levels, emotional resilience, and cope with day-to-day stress, he revealed. "A good holistic way to deal with stress and bullying is 'sleep talking' - it's a method that parents can apply on their children, right after they go to sleep."
However, on the other hand, Al Riyami noted that a bully could very well be living under your own roof, and it is crucial for parents to look out for any change of behaviour in their child. "Remember, your child could be a bully too. And you need to find the root cause of his or her behaviour.
"Bullying is often a reaction caused by child's own situation, including problems at home, or feeling the need to belong but not knowing how to."
Dr Samra Tahir, clinical psychologist at the American Centre for Psychiatry and Neurology, also highlighted essential factors parents should look out for. "There are two things regarding bullying that parents must be aware of - the first is their child's confidence level, and the second is that parents should always be aware of what's going on with their kid.
You should know exactly how the child is behaving in school, coping with studies, his or her social circle, and the other children your child associates with."
Dr Tahir pointed out that these are vital, core issues, truly affecting the child's wellbeing, future and adulthood. Moreover, bullies often lack self-control, a tendency deriving from their own unhealthy environment at home, thus leading them to "release the pain and tension on other children in school.
"Teaching your child guidance, self control and boundaries is critical - if a child doesn't know his or her boundaries, then, of course he or she will cross them. However, it is equally important to also notice a child's silence - or what he or she doesn't say - as it is often the quiet children who fall victim to bullying.
"The quiet and intelligent kids don't usually indulge in the manipulative behaviour of bullies, but that doesn't mean he or she will know how to stand up for themselves."
jasmine@khaleejtimes.com

• Abu Dhabi
• Dubai