'I thought my child's autism was my fault': Pakistani expat in Dubai

Pakistani expat Savita Kumar felt isolated and overwhelmed when her son, Ishan, was diagnosed with autism at just two and a half years old. Mainstream schools couldn’t accommodate him, forcing her to seek specialised centres and therapies. The financial and emotional burden was immense, and she often felt lost—until an unexpected encounter in 2017.

One evening, while watching television, Savita stumbled upon a programme about Gulshan Kavarana, a mother of a special needs child named Zara. The episode, filmed in Gulshan’s Dubai villa, offered a glimpse into a family navigating autism with resilience and grace. Zara’s smiling face left a lasting impression on Savita.

A few weeks later, during a particularly challenging day, Savita spotted Gulshan and Zara at a restaurant.

“I was consumed by guilt, feeling like autism was my fault because of my genes,” Savita admits. “But something told me to speak to her.” That brief conversation led Gulshan to add Savita to a WhatsApp group for Special Families Support (SFS) group, a support network for families of children with special needs. By the time Savita returned home, she was part of a community that would transform her perspective.

The birth of SFS

When Gulshan moved to the UAE in 1997, pregnant with Zara, she could never have imagined that her life’s most significant mission would begin in her own living room. Life took an unexpected turn when Zara began having seizures at just four months old, following a routine vaccination. Over time, Zara’s condition deteriorated into severe epilepsy, leaving her physically and cognitively disabled.

With no extended family, no internet, and no local support systems in place, Gulshan found herself navigating uncharted waters. “I’d meet people in malls or supermarkets, and if they had a child with special needs, I’d invite them to my home. That’s how it all started.”

What began with six families meeting in her apartment quickly grew into something far larger. SFS blossomed into a lifeline for thousands of families across the UAE and beyond.

Savita recalls an incident when Gulshan noticed her trying to make Ishan conform to societal norms. “She scolded me, saying, ‘Why are you doing this? This is his space. Nobody is judging him here.’ That’s when I realised this was a sanctuary—a place where my son and I could truly be ourselves.”

Joy and connection

The primal rule of SFS is simple: No judgment. “Whether your child is on the autism spectrum, has Down syndrome, or any other disability, this is a space where they can be themselves—and so can their parents,” says Gulshan.

One of Gulshan’s core beliefs is the power of community to transform lives. “Initially, we tried bringing in psychologists and therapists for sessions, but attendance was low. The moment we announced a party, though, families showed up in droves. That’s when I realized—what these families needed wasn’t more lectures, but joy and connection.”

With no external funding in the early days, families brought food to share, and children played freely, unencumbered by societal expectations. “If people stared, we’d remind ourselves—it’s their problem, not ours.”

The ripple effects are undeniable. “When families first join, you can see the weight they carry—the parents hunched, shoulders burdened by years of judgment and struggle. Over time, you watch them stand taller, becoming advocates for their children and themselves. It’s incredible.”

SFS doesn’t just provide emotional support—it creates tangible opportunities. Through partnerships with companies like QODE, the group fulfills wish lists for essentials like wheelchairs and hearing aids.

The impact has also reached Bahrain, Mumbai, and even as far as Toronto have adopted its model. “Fifteen years ago, I helped a family in Bahrain start their own group—virtually, via Skype,” Gulshan recalls. “They’ve carried the torch beautifully.”

Gulshan has a PODcastbygulshan series on you tube and the soon to be published book called “Why me, why not me, thank God me” detailing her life with Zara and SFS.

“My husband Zeheer and and elder daughter, Jenai, have been my biggest support system. I am also truly blessed for having Saraswati, our helper from Nepal, who is a God send for Zara and us,” says Gulshan.

Finding a Second Family

33-year-old Indian expat Sharan Budhrani, who has muscular dystrophy and is wheelchair bound, is an invaluable member of the SFS community since 2007.

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