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'Oscars brought us closer; Will and I are on a new trajectory now': Hollywood star Jada Pinkett Smith on the Slapgate incident ahead of Middle East tour

Ahead of her visit to the UAE to promote her memoir Worthy, which has already become a major talking point, Jada Pinkett Smith talks about revisiting the difficult parts of her life and what processing the 2022 Slapgate incident at the Oscars really entailed

How do you decide if yours is a story worth telling? Human beings are sum total of their experiences. It is the encounters with highs and lows, right and wrong, agony and ecstasy, that make us who we ultimately are. But when it comes to public figures, we like to freeze them in time. So if someone was known to be chirpy when they initially shot to fame, any departure from that behaviour will raise eyebrows. But celebrities, like any of us, are constantly evolving. Take the case of Jada Pinkett Smith.

She is many things to many of us. Niobe for all Matrix fans, a doting mother to her children who command a social media following of their own, a successful entrepreneur and a talk show host to the millions who look forward to the raw and real conversations on her Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk. And yet, last 18 months have largely revolved around fans and media speculating her role in the 2022 Slapgate incident at the Oscars.

During the Oscars ceremony, host Chris Rock, while presenting the award for Best Documentary Feature, joked about Jada Pinkett Smith’s shaved head (the actress had been diagnosed with the autoimmune disorder alopecia). Slighted by the joke, her husband Will Smith, a frontrunner for that year’s Best Actor Oscar, walked up to the stag to slap Rock.

The incident spawned many debates — whether there should be boundaries in comedy, if women of colour are easier targets of such jokes, what actually triggered Smith to take the drastic step. While it is a moment that has become a distant memory for fans, Pinkett Smith has finally summed up her thoughts on the incident in a book that details her journey from the streets of Baltimore to Hollywood’s red carpet.

The actress has already revealed that the couple, who once epitomised #relationshipgoals, have been separated for a while. Ahead of her appearance at the Red Table Talk to talk about her memoir Worthy, Jada talks at length about why she felt it was worth telling her story to the world… Edited excerpts from an interview:

What led you to write Worthy? Was the process of revisiting your life cathartic or painful?

It was both. It was painful and cathartic. I decided to write about some of the most challenging moments of my life, of being in search of self-worth; some parts of it were really difficult to return to and relive.

Which parts of your formative years in Baltimore have shaped the person that you are now?

I would say probably two parts. First, the foundation that was in my grandmother’s garden (that’s what the first chapter is called “In My Grandmother’s Garden”). My mother was very young when she had me. So, I spent a lot of time living with my grandparents. Spending time with my grandmother in her garden has led to some of the most formidable memories. Second, the pre-teen phase, heading to the rugged streets of Baltimore from those gardens — these are the parts of my youth that have shaped me.

Living life under the spotlight cannot be easy for the person underneath the celebrity. I am sure that becomes even more difficult when you are married to someone who is a star. What has been the personal cost of living such a life?

The personal cost is just how things can get spun. But I also know it’s entertainment. I get people love the drama, they love the clickbait. Being an entertainer, I get it. But it can also get annoying. That’s the price you pay for living a life under the spotlight. But then there is the upside too in that when you have something to share, it can be a gift because you have people who’d listen to you. Everything has its balance — it has its beauty and it has its curses.

What were the ideas that informed your decision to start your production company Westbrook?

Will and I really wanted to start a company that facilitated artistes — and the vision of artistes. Being the kind of artistes that we are, we know how difficult it is to be supported completely and thoroughly for the art that’s being created. We wanted to create a company that took care of artistes and could facilitate them in a way that helped their vision. And then we had Miguel (Melendez) and co who helped us facilitate that vision with us.

How important was it to promote diversity for Westbrook?

Oh definitely! That was actually our number one priority. Be it women or people of colour, we wanted to be able to give them more opportunities to them. We wanted their skill sets and vision to become a part of what we set out to do as a company. I am so proud of even how diverse our diversity is. A lot of people think when someone is talking about diversity, they just want to ensure that black people are hired. Our diversity spans way further than that.

Both you and Will have championed diversity in Hollywood. Do you think the industry has finally matured in how it views diversity?

Matured in how it views diversity… You said it right — “matured” (laughs). That’s an important word because we can have concepts that we are practising, but we may not be practising those concepts maturely. You just gave me a very different way to look at it because I do think we need more time to mature in how diversity is practised. I do believe there is a lot more awareness around it but we need more maturity in regards to how we practise it.

An extract from your book revisits that moment during the Oscars in 2022. At one level, you write, you are fearful of being made fun of on stage. At another level, while that is playing out, you see your husband reacting to that joke by slapping the person who cracked it. How did you process that moment and the frenzy it generated?

At that particular time, Will and I weren’t together. But before we left that building that night, I knew that I might not have walked in here as his wife but I was surely leaving as one. I knew I had to be by his side. To be honest with you, I had bigger fish to fry than what the media was talking about. I was really concerned about Will because he had never ever done anything like that. I knew what was going on with him after Emancipation, which was a difficult and challenging movie for him. After that, he had asked me to accompany him to some therapeutic spaces with him because a lot of stuff was coming out for him. So, when we went to the Oscars, we had a back story.

It has taken you 18 months to come out with a version that is authentically yours in the form of this book. Was the silence that you maintained during this time difficult?

Yes (laughs). After writing this book, I felt free in a certain way. I felt I had been holding so much, and for good reason. That was part of my journey — me believing that my story is ‘worthy’, that I deserve to tell my story. As much as people think I share on Red Table, once you read the book, you will know I have not shared much otherwise. I mean I shared what I could for that platform. Because in this book, I get to pull you in and immerse you into my world, I get to share more because you get the context and history. I am always trying to navigate how to tell my story and what I am going to tell because there are so many other people’s stories that are connected to mine. I am always trying to find ways in which I can be honest without infringing on confidentiality. It’s definitely a tightrope, but I’ve got to be honest with you, it feels good to share because I have been carrying a lot. And I am glad I have been able to do it in partnership with my family. Will, in particular, has been so supportive. He knew that this was something I needed, and the writing of this book was part of my “worthy” journey.

But sharing your story with honesty can also be misunderstood.

Absolutely, especially for us as women. I am not saying any other woman has to do it. I am not saying any other woman has to be as candid. All I want is for everyone to understand that we need not carry our stories with guilt or burden. I want women to know that their journey is worth telling however they decide.

You mentioned you and your husband had separated in 2016. Why was legal separation not an option to be considered?

It wasn’t as though it wasn’t an option (laughs). I thought about it plenty of times. It just so happened that I knew I needed to get into a proper place. I did not want to be in conflict with Will on a public stage. I didn’t want lawyers getting us into a bloodbath over ridiculous stuff that neither of us cared about. I told myself, “Jada, right now you need to focus on your healing.” I had thought that once I got myself together, then we would figure out what divorce or legal separation would look like.

The incident at the Oscars brought us closer in a way I hadn’t expected. We have been on a new trajectory together.

What role have your children played in this process of healing?

Everything. Our marriage is the cornerstone of our family, and our community. That’s bigger than Will and I. As we were going through those challenging years of separation, trying to figure out how to uncouple consciously, we also knew we just loved our family. There’s never been a time when we have not been together for Christmas or Thanksgiving or birthdays. We love spending our time with our children, and we do that all the time. So it wasn’t though we were separated and telling our children, “You go and be with your dad,” and “You come with me”. We were, at that point, like, “Oh, there’s a Sunday brunch, we are coming,” “Willow, I will be there for the concert.” We were still doing all those things together because we could not have imagined not doing that.

You are coming to the UAE to promote Worthy and will be in conversation at the Red Table Talk with Sarah Omolewu. What are your expectations from the visit?

I just want to make some beautiful connections with all my sisters over there. I want everyone to come and sit with us at the Red Table for some real talk. I am bringing the little red side table with me so we are going to have our real-life version of Red Table Talk.

anamika@khaleejtimes.com

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