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Sorabh Pant: "Newspapers are essentially like 'Highlights of Twitter' from yesterday"

He is Dubai today to perform at The Junction, Al Serkal Avenue.

What do you when you meet a comedian, who has 400,000 followers on Facebook, 1,200,000 on Twitter, and 53,000 on Instagram? You quiz him on all things digital. In conversation with funny man Sorabh Pant
Sorabh Pant's social media status is pretty impressive, even though he confesses to have joined all the platforms reluctantly. He is on Snapchat and Twitter as @hankypanty and on Instagram and Facebook as @sorabhpant. "At 35, I'm essentially a senior citizen on Social Media. I'm the LK Advani of Snapchat. I just hit one million followers on Twitter, which is brilliant and gives me the semblance of a pseudo-celebrity without any real celebrity," says Pant, one of India's best and most travelled comedians and founder of East India Comedy, having down 1400+ shows in 75 cities and 15 countries. Oh, he's also on YouTube as PantOnFire, where he shares a new standup clip every week.
He admits he's online all day. "It's part of my job. I Tweet, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook. I also edit my standup and put it on YouTube. As in, I stare at my editor until he does something." So, how many followers does he have on these platforms? 400,000 on Facebook, 1,200,000 on Twitter, and 53,000 on Instagram. "The fact that I know these numbers offhand makes me sad about myself." Pant is in the city courtesy Aish Out Productions. You can catch him rage (today at The Junction, Al Serkal Avenue: 4pm and 8pm) for 90 minutes about Trump, India, pollution, human rights, population control, his favourite Indian PMs, Modi, Rahul, other comedians.
Online shaming is trending.
I'll be talking about precisely this in my show in Dubai. I used to be really fat once. I was 5' 2" and weighed 86kg. I looked like a mini fridge. And, I did eat everything from the fridge so. I will talk about the ethics of fat shaming, etc. I can't disclose more for free.
Do you have a message for trollers?
Keep at it. I'm a professional troller as well, I guess. Except that, I'm so good at it - the person being trolled has no idea. You know what they say: don't do something for free, something that would pay you.
The next big thing after selfies would be.
Mostly likely, The Dark Ages. Most of us will be so busy posing for selfies that we won't see human society crumbling around us. A World War III will occur but that's okay, because the new Snapchat filter makes me look like Kylie Jenner.
Snapchat 'believes' India is a poor country. Any comments?
It's odd but, our Prime Minister and multiple Indian PMs before him have also said the exact same thing. Also, the statement was unverified. I prefer not jumping on to someone before at least some semblance of reality. Our response to it and uninstalling the app was far poorer.
Thanks to WhatsApp, we've all been added to 'family' chat group. How does one exit the group?
Exit, why? They're so damn amusing - and show you fake news and weird videos that trended on YouTube in 1998. It's great entertainment.
What would you do if your boss sent you a friend-ship request on FB?
I'm a freelancer and work alone. The closest I have to a boss is my wife. I've put her on protected profile. Do you have a favourite social media tool?I'm obsessed with Twitter because I'm obsessed with the news, politics, and issues. In fact, my new show, Rant of The Pant, is an extension of my love for Twitter. With lesser number of idiot trolls abusing me, I hope. YouTube and Facebook are full on love too because of the videos. And, Amazon Prime Video is lovely to us as well. 
Share your favourite fake news items.
The tracking chip India planted for 2000 rupees was great. That chip costs more than that to make but let's not waste time with logic. An Indian made it to NASA's team, which EVERY mainstream Indian news channel and paper covered. It was awesome. It proved that our journalists are from outer space.
If you were to spread an online rumour about yourself, it would be.
That I'm Kangana Ranaut's secret boyfriend, and we have been dating for a while. And, if you ask her - she will deny it. Which is further proof that we are seeing each other. 
If you were a millennial, what profession would you choose?
A person who explains to people like me what a millennial is - so, essentially a marketing manager.
The people you're following and why.
On Twitter, I follow people from ALL different political points of view. Because I do believe we should engage with each other. Without fighting all the time. On Instagram, I follow the randomly recommended accounts. I have no clue who they are. A standard mix of pictures of nature, attractive women, and great travel destinations are the three things I never get in real life.
Do you have any advice for Zuckerberg?
Send me some money, bro. The amount of cash I've spent on Facebook trying to get people to come for my events could help me buy out Snapchat.
Any tips for content to go viral?
No clue. If I knew, I'd go viral. Consistency helps. Being good-looking helps. Which explains my limited success.
Do you read the newspaper?
Yes. I do. Newspapers are essentially like 'Highlights of Twitter' from yesterday. But, the editorials are great. Also, newspapers verify news that you'd assume was false!
 
If you were to title the year 2017 it would be...
We all Hate all of us. Or it could be: Let's Listen to Each Other. Or Let's Laugh at Each Other. 
Three things you would want if you were marooned on an island...
 My son. My son's food. A ship to go back home.
The worst thing about the 'Check-In, Tweets, Likes' era is...
I'll tell you when I stop doing it.
Recently, an Indian youngster shared a live FB video, which was a tutorial on how to commit suicide. Plus, there have been many other similar instances too. Is this a rise of a shocking trend?
I doubt it's a trend. These instances are really sad, but I'd say they are aberrations. Mental health is an issue that is beyond my tiny bald head. My only message to anyone that feels depressed is talking to your friends, family - someone. People are nicer than you think. If that still doesn't work, don't be shy to get professional help. Nothing is worth this final step. Also, the number of times people tell me they felt happy and lost their sadness after watching my videos makes me really, really happy. So, watch comedy. Listen to music. Walk. Travel. The world is amazing.
purva@khaleejtimes.com
A storyteller, Purva is in search of her favourite word