What makes a real city?

Dubai - If I hear one more person say they are so over Dubai . . .

At a recent dinner, an acquaintance announced to the table that she was sick of Dubai. Said person, I have to point out had ordered a burger with no sauce and asked for it to be "super dry" and proceeded to eat it with a fork and knife. She continued to explain that although her job was "OMG sooo good", the social scene was so "on the go" and the weather was " just brill", Dubai had no sense of reality and everyone here was living in a bubble. I bit my tongue and decided to mind my own business at first. Then super dry burger girl, who was now collecting fries with her fork, and dipping them in a bowl of vinegar (weird I know), started to talk about Dubai's lack of culture. This forced me to put down my incredibly juicy burger, take a moment to collect my thoughts, before getting involved in her little rant.
Before I continue, I'd like to mention that this isn't an isolated incident. I often find myself in a position where I have to defend Dubai against such ridiculous claims. I've lived in Dubai on and off for 15 years and have also lived abroad for 17 of my formative years. Having experienced Dubai before and after its big "boom" with a healthy dose of the "real" world in between, I think, this puts me in a position where I can tell a person who can't eat a burger, along with other version of her littered in the city, why they are wrong.
Let's start with what makes a city "real". I won't go through the clichéd examples that a lot of "travellers not tourists"  make a point of mentioning when they are attempting to paint Dubai as a real city by giving it a bohemian/oriental edge. Dubai doesn't have character because of the dingy hole in the wall restaurants with delicious ethnic food available at super cheap prices. Neither is Dubai an international metropolis because of the hundreds of high-end hotels, restaurants and fashion brands that have successfully set up house here. Dubai is real because it has a living and breathing identity that isn't easy to define. Dubai is always changing, metamorphosing and like all iconic places in history it will never "arrive". It doesn't exist to satisfy the populace of one but to exceed its own limits.
Moving back to Dubai wasn't the smoothest of transitions. Finding the right job, understating how the roads work, sorting out the details of setting up a life - everything had its obstacles. Hardest of all in a city that appears to be full of transit citizens, it was difficult to find genuine, like-minded friends. But please tell me one perfect city that welcomes people with open arms and has a built-in-life absolutely tailored for them. Even moving back to your hometown takes a lot of adjusting.
For some reason Dubai has become a scapegoat for people's personal unhappiness and if you're one of those people blaming the city then you have two options. Snap out of it or leave. There is nothing wrong with complaining about spending too much money, the traffic or bad customer service. But these are universal first world problems, not Dubai specific ones.
The recurrent theme from ex expats or visitors who pass through, is that Dubai is a shining city of skyscrapers rising out of the middle of the desert lacking any history or culture. This might not mean much to many of the expats who have a timeline of how long they plan on living here, but, Dubai has become (and we all hope remains to be) a safe haven for entrepreneurs, artists, writers and songwriters from across the region. From art and culture initiatives, to fashion and design platforms to new libraries, cultural festivals and institutions, Dubai and the rest of the UAE is building the ground work, not to invent a culture, but to showcase the existing cultures from across the region that have come to Dubai to create. If we approach the idea of history and culture from a surface level then, of course, Dubai would fail to meet the rudimentary bylines of what defines "culture". So would hundreds of cities.
The most frustrating part of this, I explained to burger girl, are the people who are happy to stay in Dubai utilising all its benefits yet make constant jibes on what Dubai is lacking. Dubai isn't going to collapse or miraculously change by unfounded complaints and clichéd references. It's really very simple. A city should be understood by the broadness of its vision and implementation not by the standard of what your definition of a city is. Given that many of us are incredibly lucky to have the privilege to choose where to live, work and be educated, it's an insult that you blame a city for personal unhappiness when you are reaping some benefits.
By the end of our discussion (I assure you I was polite and sensible when I put my points across) burger girl was highly offended, called me an idiot and left the restaurant in a huff. I wasn't offended at all because in my book anyone who orders a burger "super dry" is the real idiot.
maan@khaleejtimes.com