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A brave mum's battle against cancer

Dubai-based Zahra Abdalla was around 13 weeks pregnant when she was diagnosed with the dreaded C-word. But staying positive helped get her through that difficult time and, today, she wants mums everywhere to know that it's important to stay resilient. And it's okay to ask for help.

I've been a fan of Zahra Abdalla's food blog (www.cookingwithzahra.com) for a while now. It's my go-to website when I'm looking for culinary inspiration because not only are the dishes there exquisitely styled and the instructions easy to follow, it gives Middle Eastern cuisine an interesting modern twist. In fact, the blog is like an extension of Zahra, who is half Iranian-half Sudanese, born in the UK, and raised (for the better part of her impressionable years) in Vancouver. Needless to say, she has seen and travelled the world, but it is the UAE she chose to settle down in, 13 years ago, because "it's the perfect combination of East and West".
I'd interacted with Zahra on numerous occasions because of my love for her blog, but little did I know that this spirited mum had another story to tell. And a much more personal one at that. It was during a private chat in her garden that she let me in on one of the toughest times of her life: being diagnosed with thyroid cancer while pregnant with her third son. But even as the conversation got difficult, Zahra never wavered, remaining composed, humble and, above all, honest. This is her story.
 
The diagnosis
When I got pregnant with Sami in 2013, I just felt like it was a different kind of pregnancy because my morning sickness was a bit tougher. Then, when I was around 13 weeks pregnant, the doctor told me that I had thyroid cancer. It's obviously scary because when you hear the C-word, you panic. Meanwhile, my doctor had to go for a 10-day conference to America at the time, so I couldn't access him as quickly as I wanted to.
I ended up sending my files to a family doctor in Jordan, who said I need to be flown in immediately for surgery. But I was very aware that this could negatively affect the baby, and I didn't want to risk harming him in any way. When I did finally manage to get in touch with my doctor, he told me to stay put and wait till he was back so he could walk me through the process. Luckily, my brother-in-law is also in the medical field and was able to send my files to the US. I sent them to various hospitals and clinics and, thankfully, they all came back with the same answer: it's okay to wait. I could go into surgery after I had the baby, but I was carefully monitored throughout my pregnancy. So, along with all my appointments to the gynaecologist, I also had to regularly visit my oncologist.

The pregnancy
It was a difficult period because I had to be mentally strong throughout. I truly believe that the way you are, the way you act and the way you feel will impact your baby too. I wanted my child to be happy, healthy and strong, and not have any of the negative affects of the anxiety that comes with having cancer. So I did everything I could to forget that I had cancer, except for the days when I had to go visit the doctor.
If I had to explain the feeling, it's kind of like how you loathe going to the dentist, but still have to sit tight and wait patiently for a cavity to be filled. For me, that waiting period went on for 10 months. I was relieved to finally be able to 'get off the dentist's chair'.

The surgery
Forty days after Sami was born, I had the thyroidectomy and, 30 days after that, I had to start radioactive iodine therapy, which is when you take in a high dose of iodine in order to kill the cancer cells. That was the hardest part for me because the therapy is like going into solitary prison. You have to be isolated from your family for 10 days to two weeks, have no human contact, and even the clothes you wear have to be thrown into the garbage after use. Then, it's just a matter of waiting.
Gradually, they reduce the iodine dosage to a minimum - at which point, technically, I was allowed to go home, but I had to stay at least 10 metres away from my children at all times. I didn't want there to be a time when I could hear a baby crying and not be able to go to him, or have to tell my children to stay away from me, so I chose to spend those two weeks in a hotel instead.
 Getting the right support
Fortunately, I had a very good doctor who prepared me for the cancer treatment by taking me through the entire process, step by step, and educating me about the different aspects of it. After I gave birth, I was so relaxed that I said, "The cancer isn't really growing, so I don't think we need to do the surgery." And that's when my doctor said, "I know we've taken it quite easy up until now, but I really think it's time you go and get it done!"
Having the right family support can also make all the difference. I think my husband was more petrified than I was but he never showed me that. He always acted like it was no big deal and then others followed suit, and soon, I believed it was no big deal. No one around me was ever sad.

Having the right mindset
Throughout the process, Sami was always my first priority. I always say that each child of mine has a special significance. Yousif, my first son, was born during the financial crisis of 2008, and he reminds me of the importance of staying humble and modest. My second son, Adam, reminds me of the importance of starting afresh and always looking forward. And Sami's name actually means 'someone of elevated stature'. For me, Sami is a reminder that there are times when life will be tough, but you have to rise above them. Let go of the little things and don't sweat the little stuff. That's what I did when I was pregnant because all I wanted was a happy, healthy baby.
I always tried to stay strong by educating myself on what needed to be done. I'm a planner, a doer. I had little milestones I needed to conquer and I would keep ticking them. I never had that 'Why me?' moment. Instead, I focused on eliminating the problem.
I hope this teaches my children the importance of resilience. Sometimes, life will throw you curveballs, and then, it's all about having the right attitude. If you want to see yourself as a victim, that's exactly what you'll be. But if you want to see yourself as someone strong, you can be that person as well.

On helping other mums
I feel like everyone has his or her own struggles. It's important to depend on your family and talk about what is bothering you. Do not bottle things up. In the beginning, I never shared the fact that I had cancer with others because I didn't want their pity. But I've learnt that it is important not to be afraid of support and to ask for help. Also, always look at the big picture. Stay strong and count your blessings. If you have the right attitude, you'll have a much easier time.
janice@khaleejtimes.com