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Calling all daddy bloggers!

The parenting blog space has been dominated by mommy bloggers for the longest time. Now, their male counterparts talk about why it's time their peers stepped up

About seven years ago, parenting blogs were still a relatively new phenomenon. But thanks to savvy advertisers who saw the perfect symbiotic opportunity in native advertising, bloggers turned into influencers and began taking to their keyboards in droves. Today, Google searches for parenting blogs turn up results in the thousands; blogger conferences are held all around the globe, and almost no guest list to events around town is complete without them. Yet, there is one thing you'll find still hasn't changed very much over the years: this is a digital space that's very much dominated by. mommy bloggers!

We've always been curious about why the demographic in these circles swings heavily in favour of the fairer sex. Is it because dads don't have anything to say? Because sharing - and oversharing - is more of a "female disposition"? Well, there are some excellent dads with blogs out there that are helping hundreds of men and women take their own parenting struggles with a grounding pinch of salt - and have a good laugh while they're at it too. Here's to the rise and rise of a generation of daddy bloggers who aren't afraid to call it like it is.

PAUL BAKER, Dad of one (@newdadindubai)

Try looking for daddy bloggers in Dubai, and you'll probably come up with no more than you can count on your left hand. South African expat Paul Baker is one of those rare few - although he prefers to identify himself as "certified financial planner, regular nappy changer, and very part-time daddy blogger". He started his blog - New Dad in Dubai (which has some 200-odd Instagram followers) - last year, after the birth of his son, Jonathan. "When my wife, Lauren, and I moved to Dubai a year ago, we were incredibly lucky to have her parents for support," he says. "But what they had no experience with was having a baby in Dubai, as the last time they had a child was about 28 years ago."

The new dad found there was no "real" voice or platform for fathers in the city and it's something he's hoping to change - not least because of the overwhelming nature of becoming a new parent, that too in a foreign land. "I don't think anything can really prepare you for being a parent," he says. "All the books and seminars we went on helped, but you have to learn on the job."

Like all bloggers juggling full-time jobs, the 33-year-old also finds posting consistently a real struggle, admitting he doesn't do so nearly as often as he should on his website. No doubt, voicing the thoughts of many in his shoes, he says, "There is so much going on in my head that I want to write about but work/life keeps getting in the way. It is definitely a challenge: working, parenting, trying to have a social life, trying to get fit and also write - which is why I find posting pictures of Jonathan on Instagram easiest right now."

A hands-on dad - who likes to take his kid along on his morning runs but also doesn't shy away from "scooping a floater out of Jonathan's bath when Lauren runs away" - Paul says the goal is to keep his online presence as real as possible. "Social media has created a culture of only displaying perfection, but there is nothing perfect about parenting, so why lie?" he reasons. "I remember times, in the beginning, when Jonathan would cry and cry and we would be at our wit's end, until we learnt to identify his different cries. He's also generally a fun-loving toddler but, these days, when he makes his mind up on something. wow. That's when the Jasmine Collin's calm hypnobirthing breathing techniques come in handy."

The other obvious parenting challenge, he says, is being able to get out of the door in order to be anywhere on time. "The other day, we were late for nursery, as it took me five minutes to find one of Jonathan's shoes that he had posted in his ball pond. Then, as I was putting on said shoes, he had an explosive poo in his nappy, and to top it all off, we didn't have any nappies on hand, as we'd recently switched to cloth nappies. I had a serious sense of humour failure!"

But all of these are experiences he's happy to share, in the hopes that they will encourage other new dads out there. While he feels the blog may someday evolve into a parenting blog (as opposed to just being a dad blog), for now, Paul says his wife is his number one supporter and critic, often giving him suggestions on what to write about and proofreading his posts.

Asked why there aren't many daddy bloggers to be found on the scene in Dubai, he mulls the question carefully before offering insight. "I think one of the biggest reasons that moms dominate this space, especially in Dubai, is that the breadwinners were historically the dads; even looking across my client base, many of the families have a male breadwinner and a full-time mom running the household. The moms, as a result, often need an outlet for their creativity - I remember Lauren bouncing off the walls on occasions, because she was at home all day with a baby and just needed something more to stimulate her brain. The blogging process is very therapeutic; so, some moms would have started their blogs to share what they went through, found their voices and flourished."

But family dynamics are changing and so will the future landscape of blogging, he adds. "Mommy bloggers will still be more prevalent but the dads are finding their voices too. Now that dads are much more involved in the child-rearing process - from the antenatal classes to the labour, from the dirty nappies to the school runs - the dads have experiences to share, so watch this space!"

DAD'S THE WORD: Bloggers (from left to right) Paul Baker, Gregory Stanton and Alan Lawrence

GREGORY STANTON, Dad of two (@london_dad)

It's been about three years since 36-year-old Gregory Stanton started his blog. He's already at over 52,000 Instagram followers and counting - but the dad of two says he's still learning the ropes about which posts click. "The algorithm changes constantly and your following changes with trends, so we just try to take beautiful pictures that tell authentic tales of our little life," says the London-based co-founder of an influencer marketing agency.

Gregory's feed is full of gorgeous black-and-white imagery of his three-year-old daughter Etta and 10-month-old son Ezra - most of which will almost certainly make you go 'awww' - but he insists none of it is staged. "We have a camera of some sort in front of our kids' faces a lot so we tend to get some nice pictures," he says. "I like to think it's more about the copy than the pics."

By 'copy', he's referring to his picture captions, which are usually insightful peeks into everyday family life - and delightfully relatable as a result. Gregory makes sure he posts once or twice a day during the week and "always twice a day" on the weekend. "The idea is that we always ask a question relating to something that has happened to us or something that we think is quite topical. If we can get help for ourselves or if someone else's comments can help the rest of the community, then we know it's been of value."

Every post garners hundreds of likes and scores of comments - which Gregory takes the time to respond to individually ("if someone can take the time to comment, we should be decent enough to take the time to comment back," he believes). And it's usually the posts about their challenges that resonate the most. "So much of parenting is a challenge," he says. "I am bad at being patient, I am bad at juggling work and parenthood together, I am bad with swearing too much in front of the kids. The biggest challenge has been to provide a stable life for them. I am naturally impulsive and nomadic - we lived in eight apartments in eight years in Tokyo - so I've had to tone that down a little. Sometimes, the biggest adventure is just staying in all weekend."

As you can probably tell, the Instagrammer's posts are refreshingly candid, far from the picture-perfectness one comes to associate with the social media platform. "There's this huge, aspirational aspect to Instagram, and we all want to live other people's lives at times," Gregory acknowledges. "As parents, life is really hard. Trying to live up to online expectations of perfect Instagrammable lives can drive you insane, thinking that you are not living up to someone else's reality. The truth is we are all just about keeping our heads above water, so it's nice to let people know that we all struggle and that life is tough."

It was a lack of transparency that drove Gregory online in the first place, but he is hopeful about rapidly evolving perspectives on the blogosphere. "I went online to ask questions about being a dad because anyone I knew personally didn't talk about the important stuff or just said 'the wife deals with it'. It is still a brave new world where attitudes are changing towards fatherhood by fathers, so I would wait and watch - there are more daddy bloggers than you think!"

ALAN LAWRENCE, Dad of six (@thatdadblog)

US-based Alan Lawrence is a father to six kids, ranging in age from 15 to two - but it was only when his son Wil was born with Down Syndrome four years ago that he started a blog. "My first post was about Wil's birth story and how I overcame my negative feelings upon learning that my son had Down Syndrome. My hope was that parents who'd just received a similar diagnosis for their child would somehow find my blog and that it would help them find hope and joy for the future."

Alan's first post was such a "release" that he refused to let the more technical aspects of starting a blog get in the way of sharing his story. In 2014, the blog had about 300 Instagram followers, but by the end of 2015, it was up to 80,000! What helped were pictures of his son flying... and Photoshop. "When Wil turned one, he learned to roll over onto his stomach," Alan explains. "Whenever he did so, he would flap his arms and legs behind his back like he was trying to fly. We used to joke that he really would one day, because he was so determined."

Alan decided to use some Photoshop magic to help Wil start flying - and the images went viral. "I began to realise the deeper meaning behind the photos of Wil flying. He is going to do anything he sets his mind to. The only limits he has are the ones we put on him. He wanted to fly and, with the help of his family, he started flying."

The 42-year-old blogger is now a man on a mission. While most parenting blogs are records of adorable kids and their antics, Alan's hope is that his will improve the dialogue around Down Syndrome. "I hope that my blog gives people a better understanding of what it's like to have a child with special needs. It's not all doom and gloom - it can be very rewarding. Yes, there are challenges, just like with your 'typical' kids, but you have to learn how to work through them and not take life so seriously. Life is short - so make the best of it and have fun with your kids."

So far, Alan says, maintaining a balance has been the most challenging thing about having a child with Down Syndrome. "Wil requires a little more attention than my other kids, but I have to make sure I am not neglecting them either. I'm still perfecting that balance and am so happy that my other kids are so patient as my wife and I learn how to make that work. They recognise that by posting stories about our life with Wil, we are educating people about Down Sydnrome."

Alan would definitely encourage more dads to blog - simply because it makes the journey of fatherhood that much easier when you learn from other's experiences. "I believe dad blogs are rare because a lot of men aren't comfortable sharing their emotions in public; it makes them feel vulnerable. Dads tend to hold their emotions close so that they don't show weakness - it's a character flaw with most men and one that I had to overcome myself. But the more of us that share our journeys, the faster we all can learn to be the best dads we can be."

Top three tips for the new dad

1. Be a dad and a husband. Go to the antenatal classes, go to the breastfeeding workshops and all of the other baby-related activities that you can. Wear your baby! Being able to help Lauren was one of my most liberating experiences and she greatly appreciated it. You are a team, so be there for each other.

2. Build a village. Get involved with groups or circles. Ensure that your wife has support - and of course, ensure that you have support too. You will need it!

3. Know that you are not invincible. Make sure your financial affairs are in order. Update your will as your life changes; review your life insurance and take out critical illness and permanent disability cover. One of my clients was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. He has a young child and his wife is pregnant with their second and he doesn't have any insurance in place. Fortunately, his doctors are positive of a full recovery, but that is not always the case and if he had put something in place six months earlier, his situation would be very different. It's a sombre note to end on, but it really is something that all dads should prioritise.

- Paul Baker

Top three tips for the new blogger dad

- Alan Lawrence

karen@khaleejtimes.com