These Dubai residents are afraid to be happy; here's why

The answer lies in childhood experiences, say experts

By Anjaly Thomas

The secret buried within us

Dubai-based radio presenter and life coach, Meghana Mundkur says that given the times we live in, most people tend to have some degree of cherophobia. “There is this constant pressure to want more, to chase this elusive form of a ‘happy life’ and in this quest, we seem to have developed a fear for the one thing that we’ve been coveting for centuries now —happiness.

According to Mundkur, there’s not much research currently on cherophobia, limiting the scope of its understanding, but negative childhood experiences and the culture we grow up in has a lot to do with it. She explains: “As far as symptoms are concerned cherophobia displays similar ones to phobias and generalised anxiety such as staying away from happiness, believing that happiness will cause sadness, and obsessively thinking about how happiness is related to danger and evil.”

Recalling her childhood, Mundkur says a relative would repeatedly remind them that an ‘evil eye’ would befall a happy person. “Therefore, growing up I would stifle my laughter or downplay feeling happy (internally and externally) because I didn’t want tomorrow to be a bad day. Years of healing and trying to become a better version of myself led me to see how limiting this belief is. It held me back from feeling deep joy and to an extent gratitude, for being grateful meant that I had to first acknowledge what in my life was making me content, but I avoided that because somewhere along the way I had learnt that bad fortune follows happy experiences.”

“As a life coach, I’d personally advise anyone suffering from cherophobia to first face your fears. Start small. For example, if you drink a cup of coffee that makes you happy — just for that moment breathe in that sense of happiness and go about your day without overanalysing it and then at the end of the day look at the events that transpired after you had that coffee.”

“I also used a gratitude journal to help with my fear of happiness. Being thankful is like saying a prayer for me and because that took away the pressure of ‘feeling happy’ I was able to focus more on the here and now instead of the doomsday conspiracies in my head.”

It’s a real thing

An assistant professor of psychology at Heriot-Watt University Dubai, Dr Gary Pheiffer, says that cherophobia is an unusual but real psychological condition where individuals avoid joy and positive experiences out of fear that happiness will lead to negative consequences. “While not widely discussed, it can significantly impact a person’s quality of life,” he adds.

“The cause of this often stems from past traumatic experiences where happiness was followed by loss or disappointment, leading to an unconscious belief that joy invites misfortune. Cultural and societal factors also play a role, particularly in environments where expressions of happiness are discouraged or viewed with suspicion.”

“Early childhood experiences play a critical role in shaping how individuals perceive and experience emotions. For example, a child who grows up in an environment where expressions of happiness are met with criticism, punishment, or neglect may learn to associate happiness with negative outcomes. These individuals might continue to carry this association as adults, leading to this disorder.”

In some cases, he explains, attachment-related trauma, such as inconsistent caregiving or emotional neglect, can contribute to its development. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) can help individuals challenge their irrational beliefs and gradually embrace positive experiences.

Although cherophobia is primarily psychological, it is fuelled by the belief that excessive happiness can lead to bad things. While specific historical examples are rare, many cultural narratives reinforce the idea that joy precedes tragedy. “Therapy can help reframe the understanding of happiness, allowing individuals to embrace joy without fear and improve their overall well-being.”

An ominous sign

“I once met someone with a classic case of cherophobia,” says Arnab Ghosh, writer and martial arts expert. “It was at a party. This person was laughing (as we all were) and suddenly he remarked that he shouldn’t because it would bring bad luck. I was stunned. When I questioned him, he said he believed that every time he became ‘too happy’, life would deal them a blow that caused him to suffer in some way.”

“He was convinced that not being happy was the way to prevent a calamity in life. After this incident, I started noticing people around me — I noticed that people with this disorder would hardly celebrate accomplishments. They preferred to refrain from participating in fun events and activities.” According to him, the social pressure of attendance and the anxiety of what may happen seemed to be a constant inner battle. “I believe that because it is the consequence of one’s personal belief system(s), it is not a medical condition, as such and the only way to overcome this condition is to probably undergo some form of psychological or behavioural therapy.”

“As part of our martial arts training, we are trained to focus on positivity. Therefore, I’d suggest those who fear happiness, to give themselves a chance — to document everything that happens and periodically cross-reference whether something bad happened right after they experienced happiness to see if they can find a correlation.”

Psychological roots or triggered belief?

Master life coach and psychotherapist Anne Jackson says that in a world where the pursuit of happiness is often seen as our top goal, the idea of fearing positive emotion may seem perplexing. “Most of us have had the thought, ‘this is too good to be true’, but people with an aversion to happiness have taken that thought and turned it to a permanent belief. Surprisingly, more people than you may think experience cherophobia.”

She explains that this condition is not officially recognised as a standalone mental health disorder, but its impact is far from negligible, often exacerbating existing conditions like depression and anxiety. “The causes of this fear are as diverse as they are complex and can be just as much rooted in personal experiences as in cultural beliefs.”

“In Western cultures, happiness is often regarded as a paramount value where we are expected to maximise joy and minimise sadness. Conversely, in some Eastern cultures, there is a belief that worldly happiness may lead to sin, shallowness, and moral decline. As a result, individuals may feel less satisfied with life when they are happy. This cultural perspective is reflected in the sentiments of some Eastern clients, who express that ‘life is meant to be a misery’.”

Jackson stresses that people with avoidant or anxious attachment styles may fear happiness because they view it as fragile and temporary and so they would prefer to not feel it rather than to feel the pain of losing it.

“Additionally, some individuals associate happiness with weakness or failure, leading them to avoid it in order to succeed.”

Cherophobia can act as a defence mechanism, stemming from past trauma or conflict. It’s not the activities themselves that are frightening, but the belief that allowing oneself to be happy will lead to negative consequences. This fear may be linked to past experiences, where joy was followed by punishment, humiliation, or loss, creating an association between happiness, harm and/or shame.

“This condition can be overcome with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) focusing on altering negative thoughts and behaviours to improve emotional regulation,” adds Jackson

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