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How to make a style statement

Looking good, Feeling great — It all begins with the right mindset, explains Carina Harvey, Personal Identity Coach

Published: Fri 11 Oct 2024, 7:09 AM

Updated: Fri 11 Oct 2024, 7:09 AM

  • By
  • Delna Mistry Anand
Carina Harvey

Carina Harvey

Everyone has his/her own unique style. It’s not just about what you wear; it's how you express yourself — how you infuse your personality into the way you communicate, how you carry yourself, decorate your home, and manage your relationships. Everything you do reflects your style, a personal touch that’s distinct to you. And while everyone has a style, not everyone has the skill to purpose it to their highest advantage.

Let’s be honest, life is busy, and we’re juggling multiple things at once. We all have those days when getting dressed feels like a daunting task. Whether it’s due to hectic schedules, moments of low confidence, or a lack of interest, it’s easy for our style to feel uninspired. Think about those hectic mornings with important meetings ahead, we might have just grabbed the first outfit we found and rushed out the door. But imagine this: you've chosen the perfect cut and colour that truly flatters your body and personality and occasion, and you walk into that meeting feeling confident and empowered. If this resonates with you, then you understand the importance of knowing your style and giving yourself the opportunity to look and feel your best, no matter how busy life gets.


Simply put, this is what purposeful style means, to identify and shape your unique manner of being, dressing, speaking and showing up — with intention and purpose. And it begins with a mindset shift, a conversation you have in your mind about what your unique style says about you.

Carina Harvey, seasoned Personal Identity Coach, says that when we consider our ability to style ourselves well, the first thoughts are about our body type and the latest trends. We rarely consider the role our attitude or mindset towards styling might play.


“Mindset is a tricky thing to manage at times,” she says. “Because our mindset is what controls our internal narratives, whether they be positive or negative. Our mindset is built upon our belief system. When our belief system is hindered or damaged, our self-talk and behaviours reflect this.”

Carina adds, “Yet your mindset matters when it comes to personal styling. What we think and believe about our ability to style ourselves and how much regard we hold for ourselves, and our image has an overwhelming impact on the result of our styling attempts.”

For example, if we tell ourselves we are incapable of styling ourselves, this reality will in fact play out as every attempt will be lacklustre and without any confidence and faith in our execution.

Alternatively, if you believe that you look terrible in everything you put on, then chances are this is how you will consistently feel about your styling.

As with any negative impressions we have of ourselves and our ability in a certain area, such beliefs will eventually cause us to give up the attempt to style ourselves. The more we back away, the wider the knowledge gap actually becomes.

Yet dressing ourselves should be fun. Those who know how to do it well appear to get so much joy from it, which can also leave those on the other side feeling even more doubtful of themselves.

However, what if we lived in a world where everyone had the capability to style themselves? To believe in their ability to select an outfit that would not only look good but also make them feel good.

Well, we do.

Carina Harvey shares 4 tips that can help anyone start creating a positive and effective style mindset:

1. Identify beliefs that hold you back in your styling and where they came from.

Developing a negative relationship with styling usually stems from a particular (or a series of) event(s) or remarks. These incidents convince you that you cannot style yourself well or look good in your clothes. Identifying and challenging your thoughts around these occurrences will redirect your mindset towards a more positive outlook on your styling.

2. Identify the internal narratives that hold you back from believing in your style capabilities.

Often born out of these beliefs, we hold an internal dialogue with ourselves continually which supports and fights to keep these beliefs alive. Usually the smallest, yet destructive comments we tell ourselves about our style and image, possibly coupled with comparison, are the biggest thieves of joy. Learning to journal our internal chatter can help us identify these little culprits. Once we understand how our dialogue plays out, we can work on reframing these into more positive affirmations.

3. Understand that everyone can style themselves, some of us just have more experience.

Every person on this planet has the same potential to learn how to style themselves. Yet usually the belief that you ‘can’t’ will mask this and may hold you back from even trying. Keep in mind that we are all on the same journey, just at different stages. Learning this helps to free your mind of the thought that styling may not be for you.

4. Visualise your style potential.

Once you start to believe, there really is no holding you back. A great way to unlock your potential is through the art of visualisation. Consider how the new you looks visually certainly, and also how she thinks, sounds, speaks, and even, smells. Forming this strong visual will help you to begin not only understanding but also becoming the style-equipped and impeccable you.

There will be days when finding the right outfit feels effortless, and others where it may require more effort and intention. But by implementing small, actionable steps, you can break free from these limitations and use style as a powerful tool for self-expression and empowerment.

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