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'Men need spaces to open up and be vulnerable': How Nikhil Taneja's chat show redefines modern masculinity

From his humble beginnings as a Young Times correspondent in Bahrain to building India's foremost platform for the youth, he opens up on how his battle with anxiety led him to create a first-of-its-kind series, which he wishes to bring to the Middle East

At the tender age of seven, a child disheartened by his drawings consistently missing the editor’s pick in a kids’ magazine, overshadowed by his younger brother’s successful attempts, now stands as an inspiring figure for an entire generational cohort in a country with the largest population in the world. Nikhil Taneja, a multifaceted media personality, has left a significant imprint on the Indian media and content creation landscape, particularly in his efforts to uplift India’s youth through his social advocacy platform, Yuvaa. However, his story began in 1993 when he migrated to the Middle East.

Growing up in Dubai and Bahrain, the Middle East of Nikhil’s childhood was a tapestry of simplicity and discovery, starkly different from the bustling landscape of unfettered growth and development we see today. Coincidentally, the genesis of Nikhil’s creative journey can be traced back to the pages of Young Times (YT), one of Khaleej Times’ oldest magazine titles, which served as a beacon of inspiration to the seven-year-old amidst the cultural mosaic of the 90s Middle East. “This feel’s like a full-circle moment,” Nikhil reminisces, his eyes brimming with nostalgia.

“Looking back, I see how starting with YT has had a big impact on my life. From a young age, I loved conjuring up stories and YT gave me that initial encouragement and boost, instilling a great sense of self-belief in me at an early age,” says the mental health advocate, who at age 14, became the Bahrain correspondent for the magazine, which had a Middle-East-wide circulation at the time.

“Writing, from a young age, became a medium for me to express myself—the most personal way for me to convey my thoughts because boys aren’t traditionally as expressive, and are conditioned not to be,” he adds.

Battle with anxiety

Now, a filmmaker, writer, and producer wearing many hats, but above all, Nikhil identifies as a storyteller. Having worked with Yash Raj Films, India’s leading production house, Nikhil spearheaded some of the digital space’s biggest hits at Y-Films, the youth wing of YRF, enjoying immense career success. When he turned 30, one might have assumed he had conquered everything as a highly successful young producer. However, his life turned upside down when he was diagnosed with clinical anxiety, a condition that came as a wake-up call in his life, as he struggled to comprehend its root cause.

“It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever faced in my life,” he says. “My anxiety was clinical, meaning I literally had to quit my job to take care of my mental health. I took a six-month sabbatical from work and my career because I needed to get better.”

Through the course of his therapy sessions, Nikhil began to understand that much of his anxiety stemmed from the societal expectations linked to his gender conditioning and from him trying to be the ‘ideal’ man. “From a young age, I believed I had to achieve certain milestones by the time I was 30: earn a certain amount of money, hold a specific job title, own a house and a car, and be a certain type of person. I accomplished all of this, but once I did, I found myself asking, “Now what?” The answer seemed to be to do more—keep reaching for new milestones.”

The battle with anxiety led him to unpack these beliefs that he had inherited from society and create a new story for his life. “The goalposts always keep shifting. I needed to find my own story beyond the societal expectations of being a good son, husband, and brother,” he says. “During my struggle with clinical anxiety, I tried to figure out what I really wanted to do in my life. I knew I was good at writing, producing, and creating entertainment, but what I genuinely cared about was helping young people and creating safe spaces for them. This led to the creation of Yuvaa.”

Birth of Yuvaa

Overtime, Yuvaa has become India’s foremost platform dedicated to listening to and engaging with young people, and making important topics, such as mental health, gender, Internet safety, misinformation, and climate change, engaging and accessible to them. “It became clear that my mission was to create a platform that listens to young people and makes important things interesting and accessible for them.”

For Yuvaa, having offline conversations has always been crucial, he mentions. “We started the Yuvaa roadshow, where we travelled to 110 colleges in a year, across 34 cities. We created listening spaces where young people could express themselves without judgement.”

With recent projects such as Be a Man, Yaar!, Nikhil seeks to dismantle stereotypes surrounding masculinity, fostering spaces for vulnerability and empathy amongst the youth. “By listening to young people, we can discuss issues that matter to them. The show Be a Man, Yaar! was inspired by the concerns raised during our roadshows.”

“The only version of masculinity that men often understand is toxic masculinity. There is no conversation about positive masculinity. So, we needed a way for young boys to recognise how important it is to create spaces where they can express themselves, be vulnerable, and be kind to each other. That’s where Be a Man, Yaar! came from.”

Positive masculinity

Be a Man, Yaar! with Nikhil Taneja pioneers a new frontier in chat shows, focusing on positive masculinity. Renowned personalities such as Vicky Kaushal, Naseeruddin Shah, and Karan Johar, among others, delve into candid dialogues about contemporary masculinity with the show’s creator and host. “We get men to share their experiences growing up as boys, vulnerable moments, tough times, and mental health battles, so, the boys watching will hopefully understand that it’s okay for them to open up. Maybe, if they see Karan Johar and Naseeruddin Shah opening up, they’ll think it’s okay for them to open up, too.”

The first season concluded in November 2023, receiving hundreds of thousands of views across social media, and is all set to return with a second season this July. “We’re just beginning to understand gender issues as a society. We haven’t even scratched the surface of masculinity,” says Nikhil, who is currently wrapping up the shoot for an all-new Season 2, anticipated to return at a ‘much bigger’ scale. “The next 10 years of my life will be dedicated to this,” he adds. “I want to do multiple seasons of this show and take these conversations offline to campuses and schools across the country, even bring it to the Middle East.”

Unless men start having empathy for themselves, they will be incapable of having empathy for anyone else, believes Nikhil. “We need to start including men in the conversation around gender and gender equality. That’s why we’re calling the show ‘Be A Man, Yaar’. We want to reclaim the idea that “be a man” is typically associated with toxic behaviours. Instead, we want to say, ‘Be a man. Be vulnerable. Express yourself.’”

somya@khaleejtimes.com