Have a bad case of burnout? Perfectionism may be the culprit

When Ahmed, a successful executive, came to me overwhelmed with anxiety and self-doubt despite his impressive achievements, we discovered that his attachment to perfectionism was the root cause of his burnout.

The moment he shifted to embracing excellence instead of perfection, everything changed—his joy, confidence, and sense of purpose returned.

Ahmed’s story is a powerful reminder that while the pursuit of excellence lifts us up, the quest for perfection can break us down.

A psychological tipping point

Striving to do your best is obviously a good thing, but when does it cross the line and become something harmful?

The research is clear: The difference between aiming for excellence and chasing perfection can deeply impact your mental health.

While excellence helps you grow and thrive, perfectionism can weigh you down with stress and anxiety, and quickly lead to burnout.

The trap of unrealistic standards

Perfectionism is a fixation with flawlessness.

More than doing your best, its about avoiding failure at all costs.

Perfectionism, we know, is driven by fears—fear of failure, fear of judgement, and fear of not being good enough—all of which create a rigid, limiting mindset that can leave you feeling stuck, exhausted, and constantly critical of yourself.

While a perfectionist may indeed achieve great things, it is very often at the expense of their mental health. They struggle to enjoy their successes because their focus is on what went wrong, or what could have been better, rather than what went well. Often, even big achievements don’t feel satisfying because the bar keeps moving up. This unrelenting self-criticism can lead to a cascade of mental health challenges.

A catalyst for growth

In contrast, excellence is about giving your best effort while focusing on progress. It’s rooted in a desire to learn, improve, and grow, and encourages you to set meaningful goals while remaining adaptable and open to feedback.

When you aim for excellence, you see mistakes as opportunities to grow, rather than threats to shut you down. You learn to celebrate the small wins and stay motivated to keep going.

Psychologists call this a “growth mindset”: the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and persistence.

When you aim for excellence, you’re more likely to experience motivation, satisfaction and self-esteem.

Excellence, by this definition, is expansive and empowering, focusing on the process rather than the outcome, emphasising effort, curiosity, and resilience.

The role of perfection

Society fuels perfectionism with unrealistic standards from airbrushed media images to workplace cultures that glorify overworking. Social media amplifies this as we are no longer competing with people in our own environment, but with everyone online.

A leading researcher on perfectionism calls it a “hidden epidemic” linked to rising levels of distress among young people. A study published in Psychological Bulletin in 2017 found that perfectionism has significantly increased among college students over the past three decades, fuelled in part by societal pressures and the rise of social media.

This relentless comparison culture can make people feel like they are constantly falling short, even when they are achieving remarkable things, and blurs the lines between healthy ambition and harmful perfectionism.

Perfectionism: The Intricacies

Childhood experiences often programme perfectionism by linking love and approval to flawless performance while creating a deep fear of making mistakes. For example, children who were praised only when they excelled or who faced severe criticism for falling short may internalise the belief that their worth is tied to achievement.

Over time, this can develop into rigid patterns of self-criticism and an unrelenting need to prove themselves. While these behaviours might have helped them seek approval or avoid punishment as children, they often become harmful in adulthood.

As American academic and podcaster Brene Brown said: “Perfectionism is not the same as striving to be your best. It’s the belief that if we do things perfectly, we can avoid pain, blame, and shame.”

Luckily, as adults, we have the power

to recognise and question these ingrained beliefs.

Mental health impact

Research shows that perfectionism is linked to:

•Anxiety and Depression: The fear of failure creates constant stress and negative thinking, often resulting in low moods.

•Burnout: The relentless drive for unattainable goals leaves little to no room for rest or recovery.

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