Mental health: Why do people need people?

With millions of people being displaced annually because of conflict, belonging may seem secondary to survival. Yet we cannot ignore the very innate human need to form and maintain strong, stable interpersonal relationships.

Humans’ desire to belong is acquired through social connections, emotional bonds, and group affiliation. The degree to which individuals pursue a sense of belonging often varies in its intensity and frequency.

Simply put: people need people.

Dr Masa Al Kurdi, a Clinical Psychologist at The Psychiatry and Therapy Centre and a trauma specialist, has spent years working with refugees, internally displaced people, and individuals grappling with the consequences of war. She explains that while global conflict can erode people’s sense of belonging with devastating effects, it is ultimately their sense of belonging that will be their source of salvation.

Not As Simple as Leaving: Why People Stay

One of the most complex aspects of forced migration is understanding why some people choose to remain in conflict zones, despite the threat to their lives. Dr Al Kurdi explains that this decision often stems from a deep-rooted connection to their homeland.

“There’s a sense that, ‘This is my home. Why should I have to leave? This is where I grew up; this is where I want to be’,” she says. She notes that this sentiment is especially strong among the older generation who have spent their lives building roots.

For others, there is no decision to make. Without funds, visas or an external network, they don’t have options.

In both cases, many feel that they shouldn't have to go through the hardship of displacement just because of circumstances beyond their control. They stay and face emotional distress in addition to the threat to their lives.

“Many may feel a sense of betrayal and frustration. There’s anger, grief, and anxiety about staying behind and, for those who leave, about where they’re heading next. It’s a shared sentiment across nationalities,” Dr Al Kurdi observes. She emphasises that this kind of trauma is not just psychological but often intergenerational, passed down through families, and exacerbated by unresolved conflict.

Hope comes with community

“Everyone wants to help. Everyone wants to do something. I think that the silver lining of conflicts and war is seeing how communities come together and rise up. There’s a sense of duty to help one another which acts to create spaces where people belong, even in conflict zones,” she says.

Displaced and Facing Discrimination

For those who do leave, the journey does not necessarily end in peace. Refugees and displaced individuals often face discrimination and alienation in their adopted countries. This compounds their trauma, forcing them to justify their presence in lands where they may not feel welcome.

Dr Al Kurdi recalls working with refugees who crossed the Mediterranean to Europe: “The experiences they had upon arrival were often hostile. Many felt they needed to justify or defend their decision to flee. They didn’t want to be there, but circumstances forced them to leave. People didn’t understand that, which only heightened their feelings of alienation.”

This need for validation adds another layer of psychological distress. Refugees feel a deep sense of betrayal when they face judgment and discrimination in countries that should offer refuge.