• Home
• /
• Mental Health
• /
• Lifestyle

Mental health: Why do people need people?

The sense of belonging is integral to wellbeing

With millions of people being displaced annually because of conflict, belonging may seem secondary to survival. Yet we cannot ignore the very innate human need to form and maintain strong, stable interpersonal relationships.

Humans’ desire to belong is acquired through social connections, emotional bonds, and group affiliation. The degree to which individuals pursue a sense of belonging often varies in its intensity and frequency.

Simply put: people need people.

Dr Masa Al Kurdi, a Clinical Psychologist at The Psychiatry and Therapy Centre and a trauma specialist, has spent years working with refugees, internally displaced people, and individuals grappling with the consequences of war. She explains that while global conflict can erode people’s sense of belonging with devastating effects, it is ultimately their sense of belonging that will be their source of salvation.

Not As Simple as Leaving: Why People Stay

One of the most complex aspects of forced migration is understanding why some people choose to remain in conflict zones, despite the threat to their lives. Dr Al Kurdi explains that this decision often stems from a deep-rooted connection to their homeland.

“There’s a sense that, ‘This is my home. Why should I have to leave? This is where I grew up; this is where I want to be’,” she says. She notes that this sentiment is especially strong among the older generation who have spent their lives building roots.

For others, there is no decision to make. Without funds, visas or an external network, they don’t have options.

In both cases, many feel that they shouldn't have to go through the hardship of displacement just because of circumstances beyond their control. They stay and face emotional distress in addition to the threat to their lives.

“Many may feel a sense of betrayal and frustration. There’s anger, grief, and anxiety about staying behind and, for those who leave, about where they’re heading next. It’s a shared sentiment across nationalities,” Dr Al Kurdi observes. She emphasises that this kind of trauma is not just psychological but often intergenerational, passed down through families, and exacerbated by unresolved conflict.

Hope comes with community

“Everyone wants to help. Everyone wants to do something. I think that the silver lining of conflicts and war is seeing how communities come together and rise up. There’s a sense of duty to help one another which acts to create spaces where people belong, even in conflict zones,” she says.

Displaced and Facing Discrimination

For those who do leave, the journey does not necessarily end in peace. Refugees and displaced individuals often face discrimination and alienation in their adopted countries. This compounds their trauma, forcing them to justify their presence in lands where they may not feel welcome.

Dr Al Kurdi recalls working with refugees who crossed the Mediterranean to Europe: “The experiences they had upon arrival were often hostile. Many felt they needed to justify or defend their decision to flee. They didn’t want to be there, but circumstances forced them to leave. People didn’t understand that, which only heightened their feelings of alienation.”

This need for validation adds another layer of psychological distress. Refugees feel a deep sense of betrayal when they face judgment and discrimination in countries that should offer refuge.

Despite these challenges, Dr Al Kurdi points out that this is not always the case. Displaced people frequently find new communities, forming bonds that help restore some sense of belonging. “It’s the people around them who lift them up through acts of kindness and community solidarity,” she says, “which is a great source of hope and resilience.”

Occupying the ‘Third Space’

For those who exist between cultures — such as individuals born to displaced families — the question of belonging is even more complicated. Dr Al Kurdi highlights how people in these “third spaces” often struggle with their identity, caught between their heritage and their current environment. “People struggle with where they fit in. Some feel they haven’t belonged anywhere, especially if they’ve faced discrimination in school or the workplace,” she explains. This lack of belonging can lead to lasting damage to one’s confidence and sense of identity. “It’s not uncommon for someone to feel like they need validation from others to prove they belong. When it doesn’t come, it’s deeply damaging.”

However, Dr Al Kurdi believes that it is possible to forge a sense of belonging in multiple places. “Being from somewhere doesn’t erase where you are now,” she notes, encouraging those in third spaces to embrace their multifaceted identities and seek belonging by finding people with similar stories.

Building Belonging and Healing Trauma

Belonging, according to Dr Al Kurdi, is integral to mental health. The path to healing from the trauma of displacement often involves finding a community that provides social support, self-acceptance, and education on trauma. Healing is not the onus of the displaced; it is a community effort to foster a sense of belonging for those whose bonds have been forcibly broken.

“We need to recognise that trauma isn’t just personal; it’s communal, intergenerational and cultural. But with the right support, people can find ways to heal and rebuild their sense of belonging,” says Dr Al Kurdi. “If anyone anywhere is wondering what they can do as individuals to support people in or from conflict zones, it can honestly be as simple as reaching out. Don’t underestimate what the healing power of connection can do.”

This powerful message is at the heart of her work with the Middle East and North Africa Trauma Association, where she advocates for creating spaces where people can come together, grieve, and heal from shared trauma.

The upcoming conference on November 15-17 will host grief circles for the community to build resilience together in a safe space. Mental health practitioners from the region will be addressing important issues surrounding intergenerational transmissions of trauma to increase awareness on the impact of war and conflict on wellbeing.

Through events, Dr Al Kurdi hopes to build bridges that will help individuals find the sense of belonging they so desperately seek.

wknd@khaleejtimes.com