UAE: These 'talk shops' are a space for men to address mental health concerns

One Wednesday night at The Psychiatry and Therapy Centre, a group of about nine men gathered to talk about a complex, but vital, species: mothers.

“In the first two sessions, we didn’t have a particular topic but in the last session the topic was ‘Sons and Mothers’,” says consultant psychiatrist Dr Asad Sadiq, who hosts the men’s group. As they poured their hearts out and sought advice from each other, discussions were punctuated with booming laughter and suggestions to convert the conversations into a podcast were instantly, but playfully, shot down. “One of the men said, ‘Nah man, it’s brilliant just to be able to talk without anyone else hearing you. Then you can just be yourself’,” he recalls.

Most men go about their lives without having a real outlet for their emotions. For instance, when do they ever meet up for coffee, just to have a good talk and to delve into their emotions? “Women meet up for coffee and have conversations, but the men always need to do activities like play pool or snooker or tennis,” points out Dr Sadiq.

As we lead increasingly detached and isolated lives, the psychiatrist believes in reviving the lost art of conversation and building connections through it. “I would literally meet people outside the coffee shop just for a brief interaction. With a little bit of conversation and eye contact, there is a connection there,” he says. But with easy DMs and pings replacing real talk, most people find interactions, spontaneous or otherwise, an inconvenience. “I think one of the issues with most places, especially the more affluent ones like Europe and Dubai is that there is a lot of loneliness because of this increase in individualism,” he continues. “And because of that, we rarely get the chance to talk even within relationships and families. And what I’ve noticed in Dubai is that, because it’s a transient population, people come here with less of a support system.”

He wanted to come up with something that didn’t feel transactional and the only motive was to get everyone to come and have a good conversation. So recently, he began hosting informal groups at the clinic – one group, called ‘Conversations Group’, is open to all and the other is the aforementioned men’s group, and both are held fortnightly - where the atmosphere is stripped of all barriers and power dynamics to make it feel more egalitarian. The sessions are free and the doctor’s own role is that of a ‘facilitator’ and not a know-it-all expert. “I am going in there as someone who wants to learn about these topics,” he elaborates. “For instance, in one of the groups, we had depression as a topic. But at the end of the day, I have never suffered from depression and I have never taken any medication for it. I don’t know what that’s like. I know the science of it but not the experience of it.”

Let’s talk about mental health

In the men’s group, attendees in their 30s, 40s and 50s talk about everything from parents, careers and relationships, to surviving a mid-life crisis. “There is a lot of pressure on men to be the provider…,” says Dr Sadiq. “The older men are at a very delicate age where their bodies are changing and the end comes in sight – it’s no longer something that seemed to be in the distant future like when you were in your 20s. And people react differently – some men may buy an expensive car or go on an expensive holiday with friends. Divorce or separation is common. It’s a challenging time.”

wknd@khaleejtimes.com