Parenting: Why it's time for your child to give up the 'wrongful' rights

Coming back to your rights and your complaints about being denied and deprived, it would be useful to realise that your parents will not take away anything from you

By Asha Iyer Kumar

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Published: Fri 27 Oct 2023, 6:40 PM

Last updated: Tue 14 Nov 2023, 7:59 AM

Dear Children,

It is preposterous, but true. We all like to believe we are perfect, without a flaw or a crack in our character. We project all our actions as fair and we have justifications even for the grossest misdemeanour. And should anyone highlight a slight aberration in our behaviour, we go up in arms as if we have been denied our most basic rights, which is ‘to do what we please’ without a care about its consequences. When was the last time you threw a tantrum at home for something that in your view was completely normal but according to your parents was a big no-no? In all likelihood it was when your parents took your phone or gaming controller away after they saw you being stuck to it for hours.


Now, there are rightful rights and there are wrongful rights. Rightful rights are the ones that bring you positive results; the ones that will lead to progress and success. The wrongful rights are the ones you presume to be your privileges that no one can question – not even your parents – but they are debilitating and destructive.

Knowing the difference between the two is crucial because it is impossible for you, as adolescents who have seen very little of the world, to know what will shape you and what will break you. Your knowledge of life is limited, and what you know is often fed and influenced by the internet and your peers, who are in the same boat as you. It is when we are led astray by our misconceptions of the right and the wrong that our parents step in as our saviours. And thank God, we have them to hold our hands and walk us through this phase.

Coming back to your rights and your complaints about being denied and deprived, it would be useful to realise that your parents will not take away anything from you that is beneficial to you. It is only the ‘wrongful rights’ that they will turn down or control. If they have imposed restrictions on the use of gadgets, if they have flagged you about your prolonged distractions, it is because they know too well how it would impact your well-being.

In case you didn’t know the adverse effects of unrestricted gadget use or you have chosen to ignore them hitherto, let me spell them out here once more.

How would it feel to wake up every day with a headache or walk like a zombie due to lack of sleep or grow lethargic in your activities, and then, in due course, be primed for a disastrous future in study and career?

How would you rate yourself if you became irritable and aggressive for reasons you don’t know, picked up a fight with everyone who crossed your path, be ignored by your best friends because you are more in the company of your online gaming friends than your real-life buddies?

None of what I have spelled out above is anything to be proud of. And that is exactly what an excess of screen time, be it gaming, YouTube, social media or texting will eventually lead you to. It is not a probability, but a certainty. And this, your parents know. This is what they want to avert by putting you on notice, and if you don’t comply, ground you for a while.

We always have a choice – to see things for what they really are and mend our ways or to remain in the dark and be damned. Think about it. Until next time, keep growing. Keep glowing.

wknd@khaleejtimes.com


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