Why do kids hesitate to open up with parents?

Dear Children,

After I finished writing to your parents last week addressing the subject of you seeking refuge in peers and other online sources to deal with the many emotional crises you go through, I felt it was imperative to involve you too in the conversation. More so because, when the discussion revolves around your life and well-being, it is impossible to exclude you from the dialogue.

In all probability, the biggest gripe you may have – especially in your teens – about parents and guardians is that they unilaterally decide things on your behalf; they don’t understand your dilemmas and challenges; they serve up indiscriminate advice. I have been there and I have thought the same; hence I know why many of you hesitate to approach your parents with your issues, and rather confide in friends. Because they are wearing the same shoes as you; walking on the same eggshells; facing the same stress with regard to academics, relationships, future prospects, expectations, hormonal shifts…oh, well, what is it that you are not grappling with in this transition phase? How on earth will parents, who are several decades away, understand the travails of the teens?

Your thoughts are valid from where you are presently standing. It is precisely how every human being in your place would feel, but there is a caveat: The fact that this belief makes you reach out more freely to outsiders to seek solace and solutions is filled with dangers. For one, do you think your peers who themselves have no definite answers to their own quandaries are competent enough to give you solutions to yours? They are in the same boat as you – confused and challenged. Their wisdom does not come from years of walking this earth and gaining experience. It comes from the social media, from anonymous and unreliable contacts on the internet; from their own limited view and understanding of life; and their advice can often be rash and will lack sound judgement.

wknd@khaleejtimes.com