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Why it’s crucial for parents to be good role models

Parents first need to imbibe values they want their children to have

Dear Parents, we live in an age of superheroes epitomised by characters in Marvel Comics, DC Comics and similar regional brands. The larger-than-life representations of courage, strength and cleverness have become an enduring presence in our children’s lives, thanks to the positivity they project through their portrayals in a myriad roles they play in the comics and films. From Ant-Man to Zatara, children look up to them to get inspired and vicariously feel the incredible power they project through their onscreen depictions. But our children’s superheroes need not be reel-life characters. They can be real; they can be fleshed with throbbing life. They can be you.

It is you who they are constantly in touch with from the time they begin to make sense of the world around them, and it is the words they hear you speak that they lisp in their first tryst with language. Their world is first inhabited by your endearing presence, and it is filled with your vital vibes. So, isn’t it only natural for them to pick the vibes that you send out in your daily interaction with them and be moulded by it?

Your influence on them goes beyond the prescribed lessons you intentionally teach as they follow the growth curve in their lives. The SOPs, the dos and the don’ts are indispensable parts of parenting syllabus. There is a miscellany of things that you would like to apprise them about, and you do it diligently. You ingrain things you believe should constitute the core elements of their character through regular conversations and reprimands, when necessary. However, no outside supplements you administer for their emotional growth can compare to the one thing you can do for them impartially: be a role model who encapsulates all the virtues you wish to see instilled in them.

Although the mechanics of heredity will dominate their character to a large extent, and some of their traits will take after you, there is always scope for change. There may be several things about you that as a very conscious individual you may not appreciate — pesky elements of human behaviour that you inherited through uncompromising genes. To correct them, you first need to be aware, and then, alter your ways and be a person that you want them to be.

It doesn’t always serve to offer sermons, especially in the case of teens. What works is wilful demonstration and participation in the process of character building. If you don’t want them to follow unpleasant patterns, desist from them yourself. If you want them to imbibe promising ways of living, live by those rules yourself. Walk the talk.

Every thought, word and action of yours will have an impact on them. Live in a way that reflects the best of human nature; show them by positive example how to respond to situations and solve problems, and make them believe you can make the world a better place — for them and others.

It won’t be easy, for it requires a lot of self-vigil and self-moulding on your part. But then again, to chisel our children into meaningful sculptures, we need to keep our tools sharp and our carving precise. Or else, we will be left with abstract forms of art that no one appreciates.

Happy Parenting.

wknd@khaleejtimes.com