'Crowds are a nightmare': UAE couple shares struggles of living life as 'little persons'

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. As is the notion of the ‘normal’. At 127cm and 138cm respectively, Dubai residents Zahra and Mufaddal Khumri may not fit into what is deemed normal by society. Not until you start speaking to them and peel off layers of what has been an extraordinary life. Zahra says she was born into a “normal” family (“My mother is 6ft tall,” she says).

And yet, it was in her childhood that she was diagnosed with dwarfism. Mufaddal, on the other hand, had induced dwarfism, which means his limbs were not proportionate to his body. It’s a diagnosis that tends to snatch hope away from people’s lives. But Mufaddal and Zahra have been, in every way, an embodiment of what human determination can achieve.

Growing up in Mumbai, neither Zahra nor Mufaddal had ever imagined companionship for themselves because we do not create templates of hope for those who are different than us. As Mufaddal says, “The world has been structured and ergonomically, it is meant for people of a certain height. I don’t blame the world for it. When you travel in a plane or train, you need to carry a foot rest so that your legs are comfortable and you don’t get pain in your thighs or lower part of your limbs,” says Mufaddal.

Zahra has had her own share of struggles. “Travelling in public places, particularly overcrowded spaces, has been a nightmare because there are no separate facilities and when we stand, we are at the height of a normal person’s buttock area, which is not very pleasant,” she says.

When everyday living is more challenging than others, how do you make room for hope? The daily jibes and amused stares are enough to break your spirit every day, every moment.

Take, for instance, the time when Zahra and Mufaddal were in their respective colleges. It’s not that they never liked others who are “normal” but the fear of rejection was enough to suppress any desire they ever had. “I began to channelise my pent-up frustration in books and music. I felt if I spouted poetry or recited ghazals, girls would get attracted to me. And none of them got attracted because for them, even a poet had to be a tall, dark and handsome man, right?” says Mufaddal. “And then there is the possibility of the offspring being short that often frightens people.” Zahra agrees that when the love part leaves a void, you tend to make up for it by excelling in education because there are fewer substitutes to knowledge.

Or take, for instance, the time when Mufaddal was told of Zahra by a cousin and they decided to meet on a date in Bandra, Mumbai. What was otherwise a memorable evening at a Chinese restaurant was also marred by curious onlookers staring at the couple. And then came their nikaah (wedding) ceremony. “The crowd was like, ‘Please go and have a look at this couple’. They were amused to see us,” recalls Zahra.

And the time when the couple thought of having a family. As Zahra decided to go for genetic counselling, the doctors advised that there was 50 per cent chance that her daughter would inherit the condition. “We were prepared,” says Zahra. “We told the doctor that we had led our whole lives as little persons, so we were really okay if our child had it.” Mufaddal and Zahra’s daughter Zoya did get bullied a lot as a result of which she had to change three schools.

“My daughter asks us to not accompany her to the mall because then people tend to laugh at us. When she is with her friends, she is calmer,” says Zahra. Mufaddal adds that Zoya feels the need to outshine others in order to get noticed. “But why does a person of short stature have to outshine beyond his or her capacity to get noticed? And once noticed, s/he again has to continue to do the outshining in order to be accepted. How is that fair?”

If everyday life is challenging for us all, imagine how challenging it is for those with short stature. What makes Zahra and Mufaddal’s story inspiring is how they have found their own happiness and fought their way to success instead of letting their condition define who they are. Today, Mufaddal is the CEO of Maldives Islamic Bank while Zahra works with people of determination in the UAE. Zahra is highly indebted to Gulshan Kavarana, the founder of SFS who also gave her an opportunity to work with famous Emirati artist Abdulla Lutfi.

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