Empowerment and Inclusion advocate Marilena De Costa on living and thriving with Multiple Sclerosis
lifestyle3 days ago
Last weekend, I addressed a group of teenagers in a wellness programme. One of the key emotions discussed was overwhelm — an emotion many of us are too familiar with — fear of the unknown, resistance to leave your comfort zone and start afresh in a new place thousands of miles away from home.
At some level, we all resist change, feeling that ‘itch’ to go back to what is known and comfortable. But the good news is that this itch is a normal, well-established part of the process. When you accept this, your journey becomes easier.
Author Martin M. Broadwell said that no matter what you’re setting out to do, there are four distinct stages of growth before you reach that beautiful state of flow. This idea was further developed as the five steps to mastery.
Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence
I don’t know what I don’t know
This is grassroot level. As a child, you knew that there are cars and that a car is driven, but you didn’t know that there’s an engine and accelerator, which are required to drive the car. So you didn’t know what is to be known.
Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence
I know that I don’t know
As a college-going student, you know that there is much to be learned in real-time, understood and adapted. Life skills, cooking, time, and money management skills will be needed in practice. This is the steepest growth curve and can be the best stage of learning.
Appreciate the value of the new, be ready to make mistakes and quickly learn from them. Focus on a growth mindset.
Stage 3: Conscious Competence
I now know that I know.
This is the “Wax on wax off” stage (Remember Karate Kid?). You’ve got the hang of it, now just keep on at it. This stage is all about practice and getting into the groove.
Stage 4: Unconscious Competence
I know that I know
This is when you’re fully in control and driving your car almost on autopilot. Your unconscious mind now takes over. It’s when the student has learned not just how to save their money but earn some, they know the quickest route home, and maybe some useful life hacks. Life becomes easy, predictable. Enjoy this stage.
Stage 5: Flow or mastery
Have you heard Andrea Bocelli singing, Rafael Nadal playing tennis, Camille Vasquez fighting a case in court? This masterful flow is a work of art and a sight to behold.
Students will get here too. I’ve known enough mothers who hold their heads up with pride knowing how masterfully their little babies have adapted to a new life and found their purpose.
With any new skill or situation, there will be times when you feel like giving up. But showing up and powering through is what truly matters. Look at these five stages, see where you’re at, and do whatever it takes to keep moving to the next square. It could be closer than you think.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com
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