Bang Bang: Empty guns

Bang bang, another venture by Fox Star Studios in their quest to tap one of the world’s largest movie markets, has reportedly cost US$23 million. With the fund for three such pathetic movies, India could have accomplished another Mars Orbiter Mission.

High on the success of MOM, India took potshots at the lavish budget of Gravity. But if Bang Bang is anything to go by, when it comes to film extravaganzas, the ‘Make in India’ proponents still have a long way to go. Forget the mistake of re-spinning the rather lame Knight & Day, this Bollywood production is an utter waste of resources.

Here are five reasons:

1. Bang Bang has the most convoluted story line ever hatched. Forget the fact that we are ready to keep logic and brains at home, this so-called entertainer makes you squirm.

2. Bang Bang goes on a world tour – from the streets of Abu Dhabi to Prague and more, but these add little value to the proceedings. For a fraction of the budget they could have shot in one of India’s ‘film cities’ and we wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

3. Bang Bang has lamely executed songs; if you cannot even hold audience interest with Bollywood’s biggest strength – the song and dance retinue – surely, you need to stay away from this business.

4. A chunk of the lavish budget must have gone for its ‘foreign’ stunt directors. If you do not have the vision to incorporate stunts intelligently, maybe you should have called stunt artists from south Indian cinema; at least you could see villains flying than have the hero running almost half the runtime of the movie dodging bullets.

5. Ultimately, Bang Bang fails because it generated so much misplaced hype. Maybe you should have taken notes from the three Khans of Bollywood.

The story of Rajveer (Hrithik), who twists up the life of love-less bank receptionist Harleen (Katrina Kaif), could have had some interesting moments if only there was any element of sincerity to the tale.

Instead, all we have are the weirdest implausibilities in story-telling involving the theft of the Kohinoor diamond and the chase for it by the notorious Omar (Danny Dengzongpa) and the ‘Indian Secret Service.’ The plot devices will make you cringe; apparently, ISS has cameras even under the remotest tree in freezing Shimla.

To elevate this movie from the meaningless mess takes more than Hrithik Roshan. He has done some impossible stunts (or so we are told) but as daredevil Rajveer, he is hardly convincing. Director Siddharth Anand makes him so invincible that we know that no harm will come his way.

The less said the better about Katrina Kaif. Acting school, madam? And what is with this bad wardrobe choice? Danny Dengzopa is a saving grace; bless the man, he brings some gravitas that is wasted too.

At some point, the film reminded me of Mr. India – and the towering evil that villian Mogambo was. He was the most neutral villain you could ever get; he does not belong to any race, community or nation; he is just evil personified.

Why does Bollywood continue to have its villains named as Omars and Hamids? What unneeded politics must you keep playing – especially in such lame movies – other than to reinforce stereotypes?

Well, Bang Bang does not seek to demystify stereotypes; this is a greedy movie hungering for more money. Bollywood, please don’t be such sell-outs to seemingly large money vaults.

Bang Bang

Director: Siddharth Anand

Cast: Hrithik Roshan, Katrina Kaif and Danny Denzongpa