Paige tees off depression and offers cues to others

Paige Spiranac addresses the media at a press conference.

There aren't many people that can take the rough with the smooth, especially if you are a celebrity. Some buckle under pressure while others come out of it a winner. One such person who emerged from sheer depression is golfer Paige Spiranac. Last year the 23-year-old went through a difficult time, including bouts of depression and anxiety. Negative media attention made matters worse on her first Pro event and the realisation dawned on her that golf isn't the most important thing in her life.
Addressing the media ahead of the Omega Dubai Ladies Masters, the 23-year-old American spoke of her experience of last year: "Going through it, I said it was the hardest experience of my life but it made me so much stronger as a person and a golfer.
"It was really bad. Right after, I took about three weeks off, just not looking at anything, but when you see the comments that people say, they are extremely cruel. They attacked not only me but my parents, my family, my friends, and you know, they say I'm a disgrace to golf. It's really hard and I still get those comments and I still deal with it every day," said an emotional Paige.
"I struggled with a lot of depression after that, because you feel like you're not worth anything. You feel worthless, and no matter what you do, it's never good enough. So to have all these people say that I'm not like a golfer, I'm not a good person; it's really hard, just because I like to wear Spandex on the golf course.
"Teenage suicide rates are up right now, and they think it's because of cyberbullying. People don't realise how hard it was on me with people even threatening my life and saying the world is better off without me, people don't see that side of it. I think it's really, really important to share that with everyone.
"So it doesn't matter how I play this week, it really doesn't. But the fact that I'm here and I'm sharing my story, hopefully can save someone's life, I think that's so much more important than if I make the cut or miss the cut."
With so much happening in her life, any other player would have broken down but Paige turned a new leaf.
"Right after that, I switched coaches, got a mental coach, and really took my game seriously and now want to take it to the next level. Also as a person I grew up and matured. So this year, I'm really going to work with anti-bullying organisations and focus on cyberbullying. Everything I endured last year really took a toll on me mentally and I suffered from some depression and anxiety because of all of the negative feedback I was getting and the cruel things people were saying about me.
"I'm going to use that experience and hopefully help people who are dealing with bullying every single day, especially cyberbullying, to use my experience and help them deal with things they deal with every day, too."
Paige also thanked her family for standing by her in her difficult times. "My family, my parents. They have sacrificed everything for me. When I wake up every day, I want to make them proud of me. I work as hard as I can, because they literally have done so much for me. I look back on it now and they are the most incredible people. I just want to make them proud. So I wake up and work as hard as I can for them.
"I don't think I wanted to play golf anymore," she said after all the negativity. "Like I said, I didn't feel worth it. Regardless of how I was going to shoot, everyone is going to say I suck and I'm terrible and I'm never going to be good enough. So what's the point to keep trying to get better when I felt like I could never win. It was tough."
But her love for the game is so strong that she said if she didn't love it, she would have quit a long time ago.
Recalling her trip to Dubai last year, she said, "I actually don't remember much of last year. I was so emotional, so stressed out. It was great but it was also, my first pro event, I was so nervous and I was getting a fair amount of negative media attention, too. It was something I wasn't used to, all the media stuff, and it was great. It's really helped me out a year from now.
"So many players reached out to me and they are like, you're going to be okay. Like it's not the end of the world. Natalie Gulbis reached out, Christina Kim, and they gave me such great advice on how to handle everything. I think it was so hard because it was so new. I was just thrown into the fire and I didn't know how to handle it and I wasn't prepared for it, on the golf side and on the media side of things."
Paige's goal for this year's tournament is not to cry. "I think that's the No. 1 goal. This was my goal last year and I failed miserably. So not to cry."
clareto@khaleejtimes.com