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From victim of bullying in Dubai school to a successful model

Dubai - What happened to Siam raised a lot of questions and concerns on how schools in Dubai were tackling bullying and cyber-bullying.

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Natalia Siam's acting and modelling career was just picking up when bullies from her Dubai school pushed and shoved her down a flight of stairs, causing a fracture in her leg.
The Australian teen, 10 years old at the time, had landed a role in the pilot episode of a television series. However, her bullies told her "you don't deserve it" and that she "looks like a guy". She had to be in a wheelchair for six months.
However, Siam was the one having the last laugh because she ended up becoming the face for the fashion giant Australia Forever 21 and their brand ambassador, taking her career to an all-time high
Speaking of her experience, Siam told Khaleej Times: "At first, I didn't know how to respond. I saw the look on their faces and realised they didn't intend this; they didn't think a little push would result in such a thing. I knew they were sorry from their looks and I forgave them. I knew this would be a turning point for them, and I was right.
"They are amazing people and have done great things. I think the incident will stick with them forever and teach them to grow from it. People don't bully others because they are bad people. They have something going on in their personal lives that make them unhappy and lash out."
She spoke about her book Bully Ben on an Australian television show and was again bullied by people online who claimed her talks about the tragic experience and the book were "just for money". What these cyber bullies didn't know was that all proceeds of her book were going to the Fred Hollows Foundation to help end avoidable blindness.
"The Internet is a wonderful place to make things happen and share positivity with others. Just because you are behind a screen doesn't mean you can bully others. Know the difference between freedom of speech and attacking someone negatively. You, also have a choice to change everything, apologise and start again. It is very important victims from bullying get a lot of support but it is equally important that people who bullied get support to change their ways too."
What happened to Siam raised a lot of questions and concerns on how schools in Dubai were tackling bullying and cyber-bullying. The school counsellor at the Dubai British School, Cathy Banks, said they have taken on several steps to prevent cyberbullying during and after school hours.
"To provide a safe and engaging learning environment at school, we tackle the problem of bullying pro-actively through the engagement of e-safety education, digital identity awareness, self-regulation promotion, and empathy building. We have also adopted the KHDA's implementation guidelines on zero tolerance for bullying, and this has been incorporated as a specific provision into our parent contracts," she said.
"We have invested in strong school software filters for all devices, and this academic year introduced a zero mobile phone policy during school hours. Any phones seen in the school will be confiscated until the end of the school day. This is proving to be a successful strategy, limiting any inappropriate social media behaviour to outside the school hours." 
Banks said that all cyber-bullying complaints are taken seriously at the school and all parties involved in the incident get interviewed separately by their pastoral care team.

Parents should keep a watch on online lives of kids

Parents of school children in the UAE are trying to be a "good friend" to their child so they can prevent them from becoming cyber-bullying victims.
Two parents spoke to Khaleej Times on how they work with their child to ensure they are using social media properly to avoid cyber-bullying.
Bindu Satyan, an Indian mum of two kids, said kids should feel comfortable in order to open up about their problems to parents. "Teenage is the time when girls and boys are imbalanced emotionally, mentally and physically and are more open to the cyber world with their peer pressure. Kids should feel comfortable to talk to you if there is anything he or she is worried about," she said. "Never threaten or blame the kids. Try to understand their problems and guide them properly. Discuss with them about cyber bullying and how it will adversely affect children. Always allow them to use mobiles or a computer in an open place only, where you also have access."
A mum of two kids, Archana Desai, said she teaches her children the advantages and disadvantages of social media. She's encouraging parents to monitor their children's Internet use. "A very important thing I've learnt over the years as a parent of a daughter and a son is that we have to be friendly with them and teach them advantages and disadvantages of the social media by giving an example of social issues," she said.
"Every now and then, check their browsing history, as well as have a friendly talk about their friends and their likings because it matters a lot to know the state of child's psychology and their behaviour.
"Cyber-bullying takes place outside the school hours and parents are the best people who can prevent it. Parents should take an active role in their children's online lives. They can do this by requesting their children's passwords or creating their own profiles and 'friending' or 'following' their children on social media."

School counsellor can help students deal with all kind of issues

Katie Smithers (Primary Leader, GEMS Wellington International School)
It is important that students understand they can visit the school counsellor about anything that is bothering them. This includes all forms of bullying. People sometimes underestimate the negative impact that cyber-bullying can have on a vulnerable student and dismiss it as less serious than physical bullying. In my opinion, it is also important that the student who is being the 'cyber bully' is encouraged to visit the school counsellor to address any underlying issues and reasons for such negative behaviour. Often students who partake in cyber-bullying have been bullied themselves, either online or face-to-face.
We had a situation where a student received a negative comment on a social media website. The student told his friend who encouraged him to speak to his class teacher. The class teacher was then able to address the issue with her class through a group discussion around digital footprints. To ensure that the student who made the comment understood the impact of his actions, the teacher then worked with him to develop a session about cyber-bullying, which he led for younger students. This worked effectively in changing the mindset of students with poor digital citizenship skills.
Our teachers and school staff participate in regular safeguarding training to ensure they are familiar with the common warning signs that students needs help. Changes in behaviour such as increased stress or switching social groups can indicate that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. At GEMS Wellington International School, we pride ourselves on the positive relationships between teachers and students, enabling a secure level of trust when issues arise.
We take a more proactive rather than reactive approach. We ensure our students are a part of ongoing digital citizenship and e-safety lessons regardless of the current cyber-bullying climate. Some of our teachers are Common Sense Media certified and understand the importance of online well-being and the important role the lessons play in embedding positive online morals in our students.

How would you react to bullying on social media?

Nayyara Younus, New Indian Model School, Dubai
It's a good idea to consult an adult when you are bullied online - anyone with whom you are comfortable in sharing. Mostly, victims share it with their friends and not elders. However, it is very important to inform an adult about the issue. Statistics indicate that more than half of the young people who have experienced cyber-bullying, don't confide in their parents.
Hiba Moideen, New Indian Model School, Dubai
Cyber-bullying is an act of threatening, harassing and mentally degrading an individual. People who often doubt their self-worth are more prone to this manipulation. The cyberspace, being a peculiar virtual space, can often have intimidating impact on people's mental health. It is important that all the virtual platform users are groomed to fight against negative acts.
Flavian Abe Sam, Abu Dhabi Indian School, Al Wathba
Bullying has now taken on a new form via social media. I have never been a victim of social media bullying. The first thing I would do is not respond, no matter how tempting it might be. I will then inform my parents and teachers. I will be mentally strong and never let it affect me and finally, I will block the person and report him to the authorities.
Faatimah Maryam Muzammil, GEMS Our Own English High School
Due to the increased use of technology by the youth today, cyber-bullying is on the constant rise. Long-term bullying can lead to both depression and anxiety. Some simple ways to counter-attack bullying is by a practical approach  - talking to a trusted adult and not responding to any cyber-bullying comments. At the end of the day it's all about trusting one's own self.
Saanvi Kiran Rai, St Joseph's School, Abu Dhabi
The best way to respond to bullying on social media is "not to respond". I don't retaliate to such bullying. The most important thing is to save the evidence of bullying, so that it can be shown to someone who can help. It is always better to save evidence, even when it is a small matter, just in case the harassment goes beyond the limit. I will tell my parents and take their advice.
sarwat@khaleejtimes.com