'Like 2006 all over again': UAE's Lebanese expats battle anxiety, survivor's guilt amid conflict back home

Part of the emotional toll of the escalating Israel-Hezbollah tensions is feeling like your cultural identity is being erased, they say

By Zain Basalat

Published: Tue 1 Oct 2024, 5:51 PM

Last updated: Tue 1 Oct 2024, 6:06 PM

As the conflict escalates, Lebanese expats in the UAE are left grappling with a mix of anxiety, frustration, and helplessness as they witness the turmoil unfolding in their homeland from afar. With family and friends still living in Lebanon, many of them are caught between the safety they enjoy in the UAE and the emotional toll of watching their country endure relentless conflict.

The escalating Israel-Hezbollah conflict is bringing back painful memories of almost two decades ago for Rasha, 45, who fled Lebanon during the 2006 war. “The conflict has affected us greatly because we are constantly worried about our relatives in Lebanon. We feel constant stress not knowing what struggles they face every day. I call my family every morning and night to check up on them.” Rasha feels like it’s 2006 all over again, but the only difference this time is that she is safe, a reality that brings both relief and guilt.

Rasha communicates with her family in Lebanon as often as possible, but power cuts and poor connectivity make it challenging. She described the harrowing stories she hears from her relatives. "They talk about the constant fear, the shortages of basic necessities like food and medicine, and the collapsed healthcare system. The resilience of those on the ground is inspiring, but their suffering is unbearable."

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For Farah Dandachi, a 21-year-old student, the situation has also taken a heavy toll on her and her family. Farah shared stories of the destruction and traffic that have made daily life even more difficult for her loved ones. "The conflict has caused immense traffic all around, making it very hard to get from one place to another, and there are very few resources available to share."

The emotional toll of being far from home during such a difficult time is something many Lebanese expats struggle with. Ghena Marroun, a student whose family remains in Lebanon, said, “It has affected me mentally, knowing I can’t do anything to help or be with them. Sleeping, not knowing what’s going to happen tomorrow, is a constant anxiety.” Ghena admitted that while she tries to stay connected by calling her family throughout the day, balancing university pressures makes it difficult. She feels guilty at times, knowing she has a relatively peaceful life compared to her loved ones in Lebanon. “I can’t even have a normal conversation with my best friend in Lebanon, knowing what she’s going through. I can’t complain about my midterms or a dinner hangout when they can’t even enjoy basic things under the circumstances.”

For many expats, the distance only exacerbates feelings of helplessness and "survivor's guilt." Rasha explained, “There’s always this nagging sense of guilt that I’m safe while so many people I love are in danger. I left Lebanon during the 2006 war, and while I’m grateful to have built a stable life here in the UAE, I can’t help but feel guilty for not being there with my people.”

Come together in solidarity

Despite these overwhelming emotions, the Lebanese expat community in the UAE has come together in solidarity. Farah has noticed a strengthening of ties among Lebanese expats, even organising group chats with friends to arrange temporary housing for those who may need it. "If someone’s family member in Lebanon needs a place to stay, we text in the group chat, and see if anyone’s family can host them. It’s one small way we’re trying to help."

Rasha echoed the importance of community support during these times. “The Lebanese community here has been a great source of emotional support. We check in on each other and share updates about what’s going on back home. There’s a strong sense of solidarity because we’re all going through similar emotions.”

Many expats, like Farah and Rasha, continue to send financial support to their families in Lebanon, although the process has become increasingly difficult. “My dad routinely sends money, but the insane traffic and unstable conditions make it hard for our family to collect it,” Farah explained. Rasha faces similar challenges but continues to find ways to support her loved ones, despite the complexities of the banking system in Lebanon.

The ongoing conflict has also triggered concerns about identity among expats. Ghena expresses a deep fear of losing her connection to Lebanon. "In situations like these, family is supposed to be together to support each other mentally. But in our case, it’s safer to be outside Lebanon, even though it doesn’t feel right. Deep down, you always feel like your identity is slowly being erased."

For Rasha, the conflict has reinforced her pride in being Lebanese but has also complicated her relationship with her homeland. “I feel more connected to my heritage than ever, but it’s hard not to feel disconnected from the realities of living in Lebanon.”

As the conflict rages on, all three women share their biggest fears for Lebanon’s future. Rasha worries about the country's ability to recover, fearing the erosion of its cultural identity and the displacement of its people. Farah’s greatest fear is that the conflict will escalate. Ghena echoed this concern, adding that she fears losing loved ones and never being able to return to her homeland.

The uncertainty surrounding Lebanon’s future weighs heavily on these expats, who, despite being far from the conflict, continue to carry the emotional burden of the conflict. They remain hopeful that peace will prevail but are keenly aware of the challenges that lie ahead for Lebanon and its people.

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