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Making school a positive experience for children and parents

Some children really enjoy school, while others experience it as a difficult time. It is normal for children to feel a little apprehensive or worried about going back to school after a long break. Parents can help them by talking about returning to school in a positive way e.g. How exciting it will be to meet their new teacher, see their friends, make new friends, join the swimming team etc. For some children, school can provoke feelings of high anxiety, it is therefore important that parents and teachers recognise the signs and know how to support them.
Some common, anxiety-provoking situations in school are:
> Answering questions, reading aloud or asking for help in class
> Taking tests
> Eating in front of others
> Engaging in physical education or drama (if they don't feel confident)
> Using school toilets
> Talking to new teachers or other children
With the right support, anxious children can overcome their difficulties.
> What is frightening you?
> What do you think will happen?
> What is it about this situation that worries you?
> Children often avoid situations that make them feel anxious so they never have the opportunity to overcome their fears. Give them the chance to practice and prepare by role-playing a situation that they find worrying.
Helping children who find learning difficult
If your child needs any extra help with their learning then it is a good idea to meet with their new class teacher and the Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO) as soon as you can to ensure that they get the support they need from the start of the new term.
Many children need help with different aspects of the curriculum and schools often provide targeted sessions (in a small-group or one-to -one) to revisit some of the concepts they find challenging. If your child is feeling discouraged about needing extra help, explain that learning support gives them additional practice in order to improve their skills - give them an example of a skill they have learned through practice such as riding a bike.
If there are persistent problems in school with their learning or behaviour then it would be beneficial to have them assessed in order to better understand and support their needs.
Helping children with low self-esteem
Self-esteem is how a person thinks about themselves and what they do. Most children have dips in their self-esteem at some time or another as they are faced with challenges and setbacks. Significant events such as family changes, moving house, starting a new school, but to name a few, can all affect a child's confidence and self-esteem.
In the school context, children's views about themselves can be dented by academic pressures and friendship issues. Children with low self-esteem often have trouble dealing with strong emotions and may appear quite angry.
With help and support, children can overcome such difficulties and one of the simplest ways is to give them lots of meaningful praise (e.g. don't just say 'you're amazing!', identify the specific skill or strength you see in them) and delight in them for just being themselves. Children are not going to be the best at everything they do but parents and teachers play an important role in building on their strengths and instilling in them a love of learning which will benefit them throughout their lives.
(The writer is educational psychologist, kidsFIRST Medical Centre, Dubai)

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