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UAE: Palestinian expats grapple with survivor's guilt, living far from home

Experts advise coping strategies like acknowledging emotions, seeking support from family, and finding meaningful ways to help

As the war in Gaza persists, many Palestinian expats in the UAE are grappling with an intense and often overwhelming emotional burden — Survivor’s guilt.

Far from the violence and instability that continue to devastate their homeland, they find themselves torn between the comforts of their new lives and knowing the pain of those left behind. The internal conflict between living in peace and knowing loved ones facing unimaginable horrors has created a deep psychological struggle that haunts many Palestinians abroad.

Rita Zakhour, a clinical psychologist at Nafsi Health, an online therapy platform, explained this phenomenon as a form of deep emotional conflict. "Feeling guilty for enjoying life, dreaming, or even breathing! This heavy feeling that weighs on the heart and mind is what is called survivor guilt," said Zakhour, adding: "It’s a psychological condition that a person feels after surviving a specific event. This is what many people felt and are still feeling after October 7 (2023)."

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She elaborated on how this guilt manifests. "For some, it whispers haunting questions: ‘Why was I spared? How can I continue living normally while others are dead?’ Unfortunately, some people are still in a constant battle with their emotions, torn between being grateful for their own lives and feeling guilt and pain for others."

According to Zakhour, survivor’s guilt is not only experienced by those who narrowly escape traumatic events like wars or accidents. It can also affect people who are far removed from the direct impact but feel a strong sense of empathy for those suffering, particularly when there is a deep cultural or familial connection. For many Palestinians in the UAE, constant exposure to news from home exacerbates their guilt, leaving them struggling with their own privilege and inability to help in more tangible ways.

Living in two worlds

Reem, a Palestinian expat living in the UAE, describes the struggle of balancing her life in two worlds.

"Every day feels like a struggle between two worlds. Here in the UAE, I wake up in a comfortable bed, go to a stable job, and I have access to everything I need. But my mind is always somewhere else — back in Gaza," she told Khaleej Times. "The news, the phone calls, the WhatsApp messages — they all pull me into the reality my family faces, and it feels like I’m living two lives."

She speaks of the guilt that follows her every action. "How can I be here, living like this, while my loved ones are in constant fear and survival mode? The guilt is suffocating. I remember the day I left—it was a mix of relief and agony. My family told me to go, to take this opportunity for a better life. But deep down, I feel like I ran away."

Duaa, another Palestinian expat, shared a similar experience. "It feels like I’m living in a bubble, while the people I love the most are trapped in an endless nightmare. I wake up here in the UAE, and it’s peaceful, but the moment I check my phone, my heart sinks. Every notification makes me panic—‘Is everything okay back home?’"

Duaa explained the constant weight of guilt she feels for living in safety. "My family didn’t have the chance to leave. I did. And I carry that guilt with me every single day. Sometimes, I can’t even enjoy a simple meal because I think, ‘How can I be eating this when my cousins are rationing food, when children in Gaza don’t have enough?’"

Leila, another expat, struggles with the sense of privilege. "There are days when I look around me and feel almost disgusted with myself. I’m here, living in peace and comfort, but my family is waking up every day to the sound of bombings. I’m the lucky one, right? I’m the one who got out. But sometimes, it feels like that luck is a curse."

'Pain remains constant'

For Palestinians in the UAE, coping mechanisms vary, but the pain remains constant. Reem has turned to therapy, but the process of healing is slow. "I see a therapist, and while that helps me process some of the feelings, it doesn’t take the guilt away. I’ve learned to compartmentalize—during the day, I focus on work, but at night, it’s harder."

Leila, on the other hand, has thrown herself into advocacy, sharing news and raising awareness for the people of Gaza. Yet, even these efforts feel inadequate. "I’m writing emails, sharing news, donating money—but sometimes it feels like it’s just not enough."

Zakhour emphasised the importance of addressing these feelings constructively. She suggests strategies like acknowledging emotions, seeking support from family or therapists, and finding meaningful ways to help, such as volunteering or advocating for the cause. "It’s super important to heal ourselves as much as possible to minimise the transgenerational effects of survivor’s guilt. Let’s try to replace collective survivor’s guilt with collective hope, because hope never dies," she said.

For Palestinian expats in the UAE, the battle with survivor’s guilt continues. Though they are miles away from the conflict, the emotional scars remain, leaving many torn between two worlds — one of safety, the other of suffering.

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