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Calling the shots

Despite the tried and tested formulae, Bollywood viewers can still be extremely unpredictable

It has become a bloodthirsty, gladiatorial sport of sorts. The instant a film is released, it is either thronged with crowds or thumbed down mercilessly by what is traditionally called ‘the first day-first show audience’. On the other hand, most reviewers in daily newspapers lavish generous star ratings on practically every film.

It’s a situation peculiar to Bollywood, perhaps — elsewhere, the reviewers are harsh and the audiences kinder. Take the classic case of a prominent American critic who nixed The Sound of Music, only to be sacked from her job when it was adored by spectators the world over.

All of that serves as the backdrop of the three crashes earlier this week. Queen was generously praised. Gulaab Gang, awaited as an example of woman-centric cinema, hit the front page headlines when social vigilante Sampat Pal objected to her real-life being distorted on screen. The brouhaha didn’t help; the collections at the cash counters were paltry. As for Total Siyapaa, a comedy about an Indo-Pak romance, it fared miserably although laugh-raisers usually do have an assured audience.

All released simultaneously on March 7, their commercial failures indicated that Bollywood viewers can be extremely unpredictable. No amount of publicity, timely releases, formulaic ingredients and star value can guarantee public acceptance. These elements can help arouse curiosity in a film, but that’s about it. For instance, the absolutely chaotic Gunday toted healthy earnings on its opening weekend because of the publicity bombardment, but was then shunned by the discerning ticket-buying public.

Going by all trade accounts, catchy promotions on television and the Internet, at least one or two songs that have shot up to the top of the charts and a storyline with a USP are the selling factors today. And of course, the top three Khans — Salman, Shah Rukh and Aamir — whose films set off a tremendous buzz, never mind their quality. The question, though, is: for how long? Salman Khan’swas expected to smash records, but just about managed an average show at the place where it matters the most — the box office.

Back to the crash of March 7. Of the three commercial downers,, directed by Vikas Bahl, was commended whole-heartedly by preview audiences, including prominent filmmakers. Premiered on the eve of International Women’s Day, the dramedy about a jilted bride from New Delhi’s Lajpat Nagar, who plans a solo honeymoon in Paris anyway, did have some potential to be a cut above the commonplace. It didn’t — mostly because it ventured into the age-old clichés about a single woman shocked by ‘Western culture’, be it romancing couples on the boulevards, disco-dancing (please!) or indulgences like smoking and drinking. Gradually, the heroine lets her hair down, and has herself a whale of a time. The snag is that the audience didn’t.

A capable performance by Kangana Ranaut as the simpleton-turned-adventuress proved to be a redeeming factor to an extent. In any case, an identical theme — an Indian woman frazzled by Western conventions — had already been narrated in, embellished by a tour de force performance by Sridevi. For all the praise it garnered in the reviews, Queen didn’t have a snowball’s chance in the hellish gladiator arena.

First-time filmmaker Soumik Sen’s Gulaab Gang seemed to be awestruck by its leading lady Madhuri Dixit — far too glamorous to ring true as a gang leader of women who take the law into their own hands to avenge injustice. Strangely, a line of dialogue even refers to the actress’ vintage dance number ‘Ek do teen…’ from Tezaab. A powerful subject, no doubt, the film required much more realism and authenticity — on the lines of Shekhar Kapur’s Bandit Queen — than a glossy, superficial approach. Promoted as a war of nerves between Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla, who were both in the peak of their form in the 1990s, the endeavour ran to lean houses, despite shrieking headlines about the Delhi High Court’s stay order on its release. At the last moment, the court order was withdrawn. Really, so much ado about nothing.

And the E Niwas-directed Total Siyapaa once again illustrated the point that derivativeness is dicey business. An acknowledged adaptation of the Spanish film Seres Queridos, this situational comedy about a Pakistani boy trying to win over his prospective in-laws of Indian origin, in the neutral zone of London, just didn’t possess the requisite amount of humour and verve, never mind the efficient performances of Ali Zafar, Yami Gautam and Kirron Kher. Not surprisingly, it tanked, drawing more yawns from the audience than chuckles.

Quite clearly, then, the audience is boss and excessively capricious. Indeed, the three debacles of the month of March assert that they can’t be taken for granted.