Will the real you please stand up?

It happened a long time ago, but it's still starkly clear in my mind. I had heard that someone who was doing extremely well and taking the elevator up the success graph had suffered a fall and was in dire straits. Don't ask me why but I felt this little spasm of glee, a little shiver of contentment at the comeuppance, hah, so you thought you were special, huh, the fate's got you finally. I then proceeded to cover my little thrill with pretence, the plastic camouflage posing as deep concern. How sad, how terrible, anything we can do, that sort of total hypocrisy.
It stayed with me all these years because I wasn't being a nice person and part of me knew I wasn't being a nice person but, at that time, I indulged.
And though I have tried very hard not to be like that and to avoid doing the wrong thing, I wonder if you have ever been in such a position and if you have ever done the dirty on yourself.
Like cheat. Have you ever been unfair to the opponent, called an 'in' out because you wanted so badly to win? Peeked at someone's else's hand, counted incorrectly the points in Bridge, lied blatantly on the golf course (seven out of 10 amateur golfers have done so) about the number of strokes? Your true colours come out in 3D on the sports field and people know you for what you really are. a bad loser. And a worse winner.
Our denial, when asked if we would cheat per se, will be one of horrified disagreement. Have you intentionally hurt someone and then rationalised it to yourself? Well, that person deserved it.
Broken promises like shards of glass.
Like told a lie that was so blatant but you went for it and had to tell 10 more to cover the first one. And you told it to show off or grandstand with rich friends or upstage poorer ones. Was it worth it?
Given a recycled gift by polishing it up a little and pushing it as new. Lots of wrapping paper and no card because what the heck, you walked in with it, that is all the hosts will remember.
Dumped people because you outgrew them and they were once your friends and now they are so passé and common and darling, we really cannot invite them with the crowd we move in now, they just won't fit, we will call them one day separately. So, what if he is the guy who came to your help when you were down and out, now you have a Merc and he has a downmarket second-hand clunker of a car.
Do you find yourself saying, oh what nice people, they have a home in Emirates Hills or they are such a lovely couple, he is doing so well, believe he is in the Top 10 richest list. Hear yourself, it is so pathetic.
Then there is petty. Have you ever been mean-spirited or cheap and done something so small-minded that it surprises you. Like suspect the domestic help for something you misplaced. Let down a friend because you got a little attention being nasty. Failed to pay your share of a bill by walking away 10 minutes before it was presented. Worse, promising to reimburse and never doing that.
Have you ever let down your office or given out confidential information because it was no big deal. to you?
Betrayed a secret, dropped a colleague in the smelly stuff to make your career on his bones, taken credit for someone else's work and felt a niggle of guilt but the dividends were just too much to back off now. After all, you gave the idea or so you can kid yourself.
Damned people with faint praise.
Have you ever changed because success became your pal and moved you upwards and forwards and now you are pompous and arrogant and a total pain in the neck and you buy people to balloon your ego and do not realise what a monster you are.
Taken a partner to the cleaners because greed came over and stayed and it isn't your fault if the partner trusted you and now you can fool yourself that he never pulled his weight anyway, you did all the hard work and you deserve it, hard cheese, this is how the cookie crumbles.
Bumped your car to cover an initial accident and tried to con the police and the insurance. is it really worth the risk?
Agreeing to bring something for someone and totally let it slip your mind and then lying so poorly that everyone knows you are bluffing and why is it that we tell such bad lies when caught out for not having cared enough?
Giving hope to people knowing fully well you have no intention of carrying through with the job or break or support or whatever. Rather give an elephant.
Using your power and position to deceive someone because you can and for no better reason either.
Being insincere and plotting where to plant the knife while shaking hands, if you get the drift. Letting down the predecessor to please the successor. Ho hum, happens all the time, shifting loyalties so swiftly makes your head spin.
Dropping names of famous people whom you do not really know and pretending they are close to you.
You must really have a sad life.
Being unctuous to your bosses and rude to your juniors. That is probably the worst person in the world and there are so many of them.
Writing poison pen letters anonymously. Coward.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com