Is it okay to ask people how much rent they pay?

Mea culpa. I am, very often, guilty of this transgression into another person’s private space. “How much rent do you pay?” is a question tossed around like freebies at a press conference — especially in a place like Dubai that’s riddled with expats who don’t own property even if they’ve been around for yonks.

In my mind, I already have the answer: “It’s none of my business.” Yet, I persist.

You see, when I ask someone about residential price points, my mind is already made up. I feel I’m doing him/her a favour: most tenants are dying to talk about how much rent they are paying, they almost feel affronted if you don’t probe. Being concerned = asking about rentals. So, it becomes a vicious cycle.

There’s another offshoot. In matters of rent-paying, one can (usually) never be right. Whatever sum you quote, you’re bound to get a “Oh, that’s way too much — my friend’s former neighbour just moved into the area where you live, and he’s paying xxx amount less… You should definitely bargain and snag yourself a better deal.”

And then, there is another theory, one that makes one feel impossibly woke. According to the old school of social economics, it was a given (give or take) that your rent amounted to anything between 25 and 30 per cent of what you earned. It’s a smart way to calculate how much a person earned — if you assumed he or she was playing it by the textbook — without having to pose the unforgivably intrusive query of “What’s your salary?” (though, I have, on occasion, come across the rare — and unfortunate — human who does actually have the temerity to ask that out aloud). I suspect, in the new economy, this equation hasn’t changed, so it remains an abiding benchmark to satiate curious minds.

Having said that, I don’t like it when I am at the receiving end of it.

If I’m paying too much, I may invoke resentment (maybe I am — undeservedly — earning too much).

If I’m paying too little, I may invoke resentment (because it doesn’t automatically mean I’m earning less, it could well be that I’m a skinflint and am saving more money at the end of every month than I should). It’s a lose-lose situation. So, I lie. Tactfully. I think of a figure that’s “par for the course”, one that doesn’t arouse suspicion or raise hackles. (Of course, I reveal the real amount only to those I believe are “well-wishers”, and will not offer sagacity beyond a token “Hmmm”.)

Someone I know recently moved to town with a new job. He put up in office-provided hotel accommodation while he scrounged for an apartment to rent. He identified one, moved in over a weekend, and when he came into work the ensuing Sunday, there were already a few (new-found and barely-acquainted) colleagues standing around in a cluster waiting to ask him how much rent he’s paying. “They somehow gathered — rightly, as the case is — that since I’m moving out of the hotel [he has no idea how they got hold of that nugget], I’d be moving into my own place,” he recounted.

sushmita@khaleejtimes.com